Some say men handle it the worse because of our physche or men are better at not expressing their true emotions.

Some say women handle it worse because they're more emotional.

What is your personal take? Did you have an ex handle a break up worse than you did or were you the one who got hurt the most in past situation? Who handled it the worse?

Men! (lol)  Seriously, I think that while men may not show it as much (because of society's stereotypes about how a man is suppose to handle emotions), I think they have a harder time getting past it, and putting the baggage from it to rest.

Women are free to cry and talk it out with the girls without judgment or fear of being thought weak.  Our ability to do this allows us to deal with the pain of heartache in a way that quickens the grief process -- in a way that a man cannot without being thought of as "soft" or "weak". 

I also believe that because it takes a man longer to "allow" himself to fully love and show his love for a woman, when that love is damaged...he takes it harder than the average female.  Just my 2.5.

BTW....get outta my head Mass (lol)...writing a blog now about the Angry Black Man and how he got that way.

Hmmm...got me thinking. Who handles it better? Idk. To me handling it means you seperate yourself from that person, don't harbor ill feelings (for log) and don't bring that persons' ghost into your next relationship or even in your everyday life. (ie 'Janine would have loved to go see that movie. F*ck dat gurl! Why am I even thinkin bout her as*? Wonder what she's doing...)

With that said, I guess men handle it better. Cuz Lord knows I hear some women still bad-talking Greg from the 8th grade 24 years later but very few men even mention Sheila aka the ex-fiance from 3 months ago (in MY experience).

Hmmm...got me thinking. Who handles it better? Idk. To me handling it means you seperate yourself from that person, don't harbor ill feelings (for log) and don't bring that persons' ghost into your next relationship or even in your everyday life. (ie 'Janine would have loved to go see that movie. F*ck dat gurl! Why am I even thinkin bout her as*? Wonder what she's doing...)

With that said, I guess men handle it better. Cuz Lord knows I hear some women still bad-talking Greg from the 8th grade 24 years later but very few men even mention Sheila aka the ex-fiance from 3 months ago (in MY experience).

Mass it depends on who initiated the break up. Usually breaker is hurt less than the breakee. Now a mutual separation can hurt both, but I think women handle it differently. They take dating breaks and sh**t. A man might be broken up but he's usually ready to jump right back on the horse.

Chelz made a good point. Those early N.E. heartbreaks men probably don't even think about anymore.

In general, break-ups are hard.
I think men may handle it worse b/c for what I've heard, men only love once.  The breakup may be so unbearable, that they rather not have to revisit that feeling (ever), and therefore they become detached from it.
For women, we have the ability to love over and over again.  And sometimes with more intensity towards the next. 
I can say that for me, I can bare with someone breaking up with me.  It hurts the same but it's a feeling that I'm familiar with.  So every time there is a break up, the pain is easier to bare.  But it hurts me more when I do the breaking up b/c I know how hurtful it is.  I had two prior experiences in which I broke up with the person and I cried more than he did.

"A man might be broken up but he's usually ready to jump right back on the horse."

@Dark:  Getting right back on the horse doesn't necessarily mean a person is over the break-up.  (For record--women will do the same thing)Some folks do it as a means for avoiding the pain.  IMHO, its a bandaid solution, one in which the rebound person usually ends up hurt, or at the least not receiving all that the injured party would be capable of giving if they were not still saddled with the residual pain, anger, or whatever from the last relationship.  Similar to the sentiments Chelz expressed in her "He Lied" blog about not being able to give her all to someone right now.  Just my 2.5.


"I hear some women still bad-talking Greg from the 8th grade 24 years later but very few men even mention Sheila aka the ex-fiance from 3 months ago"

@Chelz: You're right--we will put a story on loop (lol)....however a guy not talking specifically about the individual or situation that hurt him, doesn't mean that he's not hurting.  Men & women communicate may differently...but I tend believe we feel heartache the same.  And if some of the comments from the Gents on the Hill are any indication...brothas are carrying as many bags [filled with unresolved emotions] as some of the ladies.  Just my 2.5.

@Dashon - oh, I agree that pain is still there. I can't speak for women, but I've seen many of my nickas going through it. That s**t hurts! So the saying goes, the quickest way to get over old p**sy is new p**sy.

@Dark:  I've heard that saying before...is it really true?

As a man and if you've just experienced a heartbreak, a new piece of ass means nothing; new or old.  The moment you've concluded that sexual experience, no matter good and erotic the intimacy may have been,  you will still have a serious void of missing that person. In most situations, the ex was probably far more valuable and meaningful outside of just a night of physical activity. That's hard to replace if the right connection was in place.  

@Dashon - Hell no it aint true, but at least you've got someone to lick your wounds.

@Dark:  LOL....okay...thanks.  I didn't think so, but I'm not a dude so I had to ask...LOL.

Men, because they are sensitive and emotional.  That is why they attempt to dominate territory.  Get all upset cause you been on the phone with somebody or accidentally had sex with somebody else.  Men could learn to love unconditionally.  Forgive a sista, you won't be thought of as weak. 

I think that it is women who handle it worse!  I know I am gonna catch some flack about this but lets take a look at it:  Men may be crushed initially but the way we are raised causes us to have to deal with it head on!  Women tend to be a lot more self destructive!  They question themselves and why it is that the guy left or cheated!  Men just say oh welland move on!  Yes we do still have feelings for that person but I think we handle those feelings abit better because we were raised to conseal how we feel!

@DarkNight Usually breaker is hurt less than the breakee.
Usually, but not always. With my ex, (well I guess it was initially a mutual break up) he tried almost immediately to reconnect with me, but I wasn't trying to hear it at the time. I just needed time alone for a while. He hooked up with someone else soon after and got engaged to her after 2months (trying to pick up w/her where he left off with me I suppose). I doubt he "got over" me, but he moved on. That hurt me then and
2yrs later, I am still single, not dating, and NOT OVER IT! I try not to because I no God has something better for me, but I still regret it at times. I think things would be different if we didn't have a child together, but the reality is that he is now married with a new born baby and I still have not been able to spend time with another man without thinking of him... SMH. But maybe I'm not the norm. I know my story says that I'm the obsessive type! lol! (I'm working on moving on, however it is clearly a slow process.)

BTW I think the big difference is not necessarily gender, but the way one goes about getting over it and moving on. I have gotten over break-ups in the past easily by replacing my feelings for one with the next "worthy" guy who is willing to show me the attention/affection I need.  This is the easy way out. It is also dangerous though. When you transfer emotions from one to the next, you are likely to get hurt worse and it weakens your stability.  The other option is to remain single while you get over it. Whether you place your extra time on friends or other activities, it allows you to heal on your own before bringing hurt or old feelings for a past lover into a new relationship. This is what I am currently attempting. Wish me well!