Been watching this Ray J joint a few times and I had to wonder if I had the chance to pick 20 women (with actual potential) and I had to find that ONE, what  type of activities, questions,  dates and challenges would I propose....to first separate the girls from the women down to my future SO.


FH women: What would you do to separate the men from the boys?
FH Men: How would you separate the women from the girls?

Here are a few of my intial thoughts:

First thing first I want to see how intelligent of a woman you are. I would ask each woman to tell me who's the most influential black person to them outside of their family, oprah, obamas, malcolm and martin

Secondly, all the weave, make up and extensions would have to come out. I need to see your natural look (call me shallow but that's not asking too much)

Third, I would take the Diddy approach to see which woman is business minded...draft me a business plan

Fourth, I like a fashionable woman. Model some outfits for me for a variety of seasons and occasions. I need to see how versatile you are. Wearing high top sneakers or busted heels cause for automatic disqualification.


 What would you plot?

I would want the men to tell me about the most influential woman in their lives in two minutes or less. They can just talk or be creative. I want to know who she is and why she is influential.
I would want them to show me that they can be versatile. Show me your street side and your corporate side. 
Tell me what you think it takes for a man to be a good partner in a relationship.
Physical fitness test. Let me see what you workin with honey....

Mass, I would ask the question that matters to me the most and work down to a few lesser requirements.

I don't look at it as separating women from girls, but making sure that I'm getting the best fit possible for me.  Just like a heavy duty F 250 pick-up truck is of no less truck just because  a man who lives in a apartment complex with very little needs to tow or haul and feel it isn't compatible to his needs, as oppose to another man who lives of a farm... does't take away the worth of the truck, but it isn't compatible to one's needs.

The first thing I would want to guage is the reliability of that person and can that person be trusted in "challenging times".  I would want to guage their savvy in handling situations. I would want to gauge their willingness to listen. I would want to guage their inner drive and determination and their financial disposition.  There are others, but I got to get this run in before the weather hits.

I'd pose a bunch of deliberately provocative questions to illicit his character in the following areas:

1. His attitudes towards women, heteronormative gender roles, and socially constructed and perpetrated misogyny
2. His ability to listen
3. His ability and willingness to critically examine himself
4. His ability to be supportive
5. His intellect (demonstrated by a knowledge of a wide range of subjects, and at least an interest in learning about those he knows little to nothing about)
6. Confidence without arrogance
7. His self security

I'd pose a bunch of deliberately provocative questions to illicit his character in the following areas:

1. His attitudes towards women, heteronormative gender roles, and socially constructed and perpetrated misogyny
2. His ability to listen
3. His ability and willingness to critically examine himself
4. His ability to be supportive
5. His intellect (demonstrated by a knowledge of a wide range of subjects, and at least an interest in learning about those he knows little to nothing about)
6. Confidence without arrogance
7. His self security

@ Mass I really like what you've come up with and I think those are reasonable challenges...

As Wood said, it's about compaitibility and how well we each fit into each other's world. For me, family and friends are important, so a person who is at least comfortable in these settings is what I'm looking for.

Here are mine...in no particular order

Dinner with The Council (my girls)...if a man can survive all that chatter, he gets moved to a starter position (lol)

Work Function...I work at a university and often attend events with the Chancellor. Would be very telling to see how he flows in this environment.

What was the last book you read?

The vacation challenge...do you go out and get us breakfast and coffee while I'm sleeping or getting dressed, scout out what we're going to do that day...find out where things are? You can blame my daddy for this one...everyone loves vactioning with him because he finds all the malls, restaurants and cool places in whatever city we're in. I do have this trait and don't mind picking some places for us to go, but would like for my future mate to track it down while I'm chilling...this works best if my man is a morning person (which I'm not) 

6. Confidence without arrogance

You know JAT, it is funny that you mentioned this.  I often hear the term "swag" or a person having "swaggar", etc, in a meaning that I find hard to grasp.  Now, back in the day, we also utilized that term, and there is a difinition that correspond to the original meaning of swaggar.  Back in the day, we used the term swaggar as a person who was a loud mouth, overly confident a.ss hole, but I hear sistas saying they like a man with "swag".  When my drunken uncle got drunk, he had big-time swag and he couldn't keep his mouth shut anytime folks got together.  He would put on his fake fur, platform shoes, shirt open showing his nappy chest hair, hat with feathers in it cocked to the side and strut down the street with big-time swag.

Is the term "swag" being utilized like we use to use the term "bad" meaning good?

Hell, Yosemite Sam had big-time swaggar... that is what swag is; arrogance with an exagerated strut.

I figure there must have been some video or hip hop song with the word swaggar written in it for folks to start using the word again in such a different manner.

YOu are so asking the wrong questions.  I would play your game. 

But to answer your question.  Seperate the boys from men.

1.  I would ask them to answer a riddle.
2.  I would engage in conversation so that I can check out the chemistry that we have.
3.  I love swag(personality), I would make sure that this is the type of personilaty that I am compatable with or one that I would love to relate with. 
4.  I love men's body's, I too would so love for them to model a few seasons fashions.  I'd use his gear to dream up times and places for us to do things.
5.  I'd check out his hobbies.