What are some of the signs when another person is too reliable or addicted towards you? Even in a relationship some people need space but there's a thin line between needing companionship versus maitaining your own individuality. Have you ever been smothered? Have you ever been in a situation when someone was so insecure to ever leave your side or scared be without contact without you for a long period of time?

Stories, experiences?

Ugh, I HATE being smothered & I think some men don't like that disposition about me. I don't really feel I need to see whomever I'm dating all the time. I need BREAKS lol.

Story: The guy I was dating last year was very smothering. Whenever I saw him, he had to hug me really tight (I don't even feel the need to hug a person each time I see them... LOL, I'm not extremely affectionate) and sometimes lift me in the air & start kissing me all over my face. Um, YUCK... That is an absolute turn off for me. My FACE is precious to me & I don't want anyone's spit all over it. LOL, he'd get mad when I'd say, "Could you stop kissing me?" Then if he called me & I said I'll call you back, he'd call me back w/in a half hour asking me how comes I didn't call him back. One time, he had the nerve to call & say, "Hmmm are you getting ready for a date or something. You said you'd call me back when you got inside your house and when I called you were in your driveway". WTHeck... Then another time, he said he was going to drive by to see if I'm home... Dude, for what? Did I say I wanted to see you.

My ex-husband. I dont even know where to begin. Its no reason for us to have any contact with each other except for him to bring my money every Friday. When I moved to Atlanta I took the kids with me. He got his attorney to say I couldnt leave Michigan with the kids. My attorney was like ok if he want the kids he can raise them. I left Mi w/o the kids. He was bringing the kids to ATL like every weekend. It was like I never left. When I returned to MI he moved around the corner with his wife. WTH. Anyway he drive by my house everyday. If I go out, he will show up to see who im with. My son is 17 and still live with his daddy but he come over on the weekends. His dad always have an excuse as to why he is over to my house, My son D.J so he always come over with some new contracts for my son to sign. I know this can wait two more days until my son get home. My daughter is in college. If I go visit her and its as if he know im there. He will show up the same day too. I feel like im in a choke hole.

@LL

I guess that's the trade off you have to deal with if he's taking care of you financially. You can't stop him from being a father to his kids and if you want total freedom then cut off receiving funds from him every Friday and then you could have all the space you need. Isn't that a choice you have?

Yes it is Mass and that is why men dont come over my house. Thats why I will go over theirs or meet them somewhere. Its a catch 22 but It works for me. I make my personal choices harder than they have to be.

I can't say that I've been smothered, or it's been awhile since I can recall it, but I think that may be because I'm pretty direct and I know I don't like that at all.  I always get the women who want to go out of their way to show their independence, but at the same time want someone to be up underneath them.  To my knowledge, I don't even know of anyone in my crew as being the smothering type...except one.

I may have moments where I'm really trying to be around my woman, but I try to monitor that stuff.

LL, I don't think anyone has access to your posts.  I've clicked on them and get a blank page.

I've dated people in the smothering category and it was evident upfront that I needed to keep it moving. I went out with a man last month and had a great time, but I wanted to get to know him in conversation to see where his head was at after the date --Telephone. I learned some crazy things after talking to him for a week...he tried to say the last person he was with craved too much attention and wanted HIM to be around all of the time...but this brotha was asking me out everyday of the week that followed our date. He was calling me more than 3 times a day! He was hanging up on my voicemail-lol. He was asking me why I couldn't hang out with him! I felt like he wanted my whole itinerary and we just went on ONE date. It was ludacris; week 1 felt like a tsunami. He smothered me....I had to ignore him because he was trying to be exclusive immediately. I just couldn't take it -- I offered him friendship after week 1...haven't heard from him since -lol. I can't imagine being in a relationship with someone like that...he didn't know my address, but I was still on the lookout BC he was buzzing my phone like CRAZY...leaving blank voicemails like CRAZY. Had me feeling like he was CRAZY

@WO I know, i dont know whats wrong. I'll stop posting. I can only respond.

In my first real realationship, I thought that was how you were suppose to act. I thought it was normal, but as I grew I learned that time spent doesn't equate to love. Fortunately, I never dated or was in a relationship anyone that was repulsed by the idea of spending time with me. I think I was very insecure and attracted men that were just as insecure. I wanted them as protection from other pursuers, so I wouldn't have to deal with the bs. And they wanted to be there 24-7 to keep pursuers from tryna get at me, so they didn't have any competition. Needless to say - this was insanity. So, not the way to live.

Been smothered. A dude I dated got progressively more controlling - calling all the time, wanting a detailed itinerary of my day, questioning everyone I spent time with, etc. It was not cute, and it was definitely something that should've have prompted me to leave before I did.

Yes, I dated smothering guy for a while. He called too much, popped up on me all the time, even if I was out with friends. He was overly sweet and nice, but at times he'd get angry, if I didn't answer the phone or call right back. he always wanted to be with me or know exactly where I was. I couldn't talk to another man, if he was around, without him starting the 20 questions about the guy. even if i went out with friends or familym I'd have to give him every little detail about what we did, who we saw, or where we went. It was so tiring.  

 I remember I went out of town for a family member's wedding for about 3 days, when I returned he was sitting on my steps. He pretended to be so worried about me. I knew then this was not going work.  He was more of a stalker, clingy, crazy type. We did not last long at all. All my friends thought he was creepy.

 He was a bit older, only 4 or 5 years older, but I only found out later that he's had a bad break-up before, so I think that was part of the problem.

Oh I 4got about the time I lived in At;anta and dated an African. He was crazy controlling. He would cook because I was only allowed to eat certain foods. One day he took me to this club in ATL and he asked if I wanted something to drink. I was like yeah. He stayed gone for like 2 hours. It was cool because I met these 2 brothers from Michigan and we got to talking about everything from our hometown. This fool came back w/o a drink tripping. He was like when I said i'll be back you suppose to just sit and wait on me. not talk to anyone. Then he was like you are my woman, you came here with me and you ask my permission b4 talking with someone else.Remind you we never had the "TITLE" conversation. The guy from Mi was like man you were gone for 2 hours and you didnt even bring her back anything to drink. He was so mad. I knew then it was time for me to go back to Mich because I was living in one of his houses. When I returned to MI he was still sending me money and he send me a plane ticket to come see him but I was working and couldnt go. He act like I was just using him for his dough. That taught me a valuable lesson. Leave those control freaks alone.

@Loveless

You totally lost me when you went from "never having the title conversation" to you were living in one of his houses to him sending you money but he's still considered a control freak? lol..interesting story. Choices right? 

Oh he owned several houses and me and this other lady lived in one of his rented houses.

You were bored when you came up with this question.

There was a time in my life when everybody that I knew was caught up in my responsiblity.  I stopped being their savior by weaning them off my presence but not deny them the use of my love in their life.  My ex husband smoothered me.  I didn't like it.  I use to give him money on the weekends so that he would go out and party so that I would have some time to myself.  I prayed that he would meet somebody to give him some pussy, I wasn't giving up any, and I prayed that some sweet woman would come and take him off my hands.  I don't know if he ever got to the pussy, I'm effective in my prayers, so I'm pretty sure that he did.  But my prayers where answered in manifestation with my second request.  He has now been married to the same woman now, the one that took him from me, for 15 years.  Looking back at the situation I'm relieved.  Thanks for dispelling your ministry.  Also I can see where I was married with a purpose.  Had I not loved that fool unconditionally I wouldn't have prayed for him the right wife.  Damn I'm good.  He's been with that woman for 15 years now.  Thanks MassAppeal, you are a good friend indeed.

YOu asked about insecurity in love.  When I'm in a relationship I fortify instead of evoking insecurity.  That's the way I roll.

@femme

Interesting response. What were some of the things you prayed for out of a result of ending this marriage? Any regrets or was there anything you would have done differently?