I knew this would get your attention!  I was having a conversation and someone asked me the question, "do you think that black women just hate black me?"  I had to think really hard about my answer and not say anything based on my limited knowledge of all black women.  I want to ask my FH Fam the same question.  It seems that the media has only showed the world the worst in black men and myself not being in that category get a lot of BS hung on me!  I end up paying for things that other black men do!  If you look at t v, all you see are images of men degrading women and objectifying them.  Yeah, I've been to a strip club or two or three...  Okay I've been to a lot of strip clubs!  But all men like to see naked women.  I guess I am wondering what is on women's mind out there.  I have spoken to a number of black women who feel that there are no or very few good black men to choose from.  I look around and say to myself that they must be walking around with blindfolds on!!!  I myself know that I am a GOOD MAN.  But for some reason I continue to hear black women say these kinds of things.  Then they want to claim that they now have to date outside of their race or date other women. That is totally ridiculous.  I don't have a problem with interracial dating or homosexuality but to settle for one of these if you are truly looking for a strong, respectful black man is not the way to go and it is a lazy way of thinking.  I feel that women have bought into the idea that there are no good black men out there because they chose the wrong black man to be with, not because there aren't any out there.  Every problem begins with you, but so does every solution.  I have encountered countless gold diggers, hoes, and all other kings of women who happen to be black and it has not made me want to date a white woman or a dude.  I continue to look for what it is that I want, a strong, educated, opinionated, loving, and sometimes freaky black woman!!!!!!!  So I am asking both the FH men and women to give me some feedback!  Do black women hate black men and why do you feel this way?(Give personal and non personal experiences)  Hopefully we can dispel whatever myths that are out there!

@Gsmoove

Hate is a strong word but I do feel black women have lost a tremendous amount of respect for us which could be attributed to our own wrong doing and the media sterotypes. I feel black women expect the worst from us first before considering the positive. Now I'm hearing the lack of quality  black men is the reason why black women are becoming bi-sexual. Either way we as black men do need to get our act together collectively. The wrong doing by other brothers are making us good cats work twice as hard to gain the respect from black women.

@G: Interesting question. Last night while with some friends (an equal distribution of men and women) the subject of a lack of respect the genders show one another in the black community. The men were making some valid points regarding how some women have disrespected them, and the women too, made some valid points.

Personally, I LOVE black men. In fact, when I recently decided to date a man who is not American, I struggled with this. I have dated the wrong guy before, sometimes it was me, sometimes these guys were just jerks! But recently, after spending time with 'someone different' I am beginning to gain some perspective. I don't think black women hate black men, the language is just too strong. I DO think there are some fundamental challenges that black women experience with black men that fatigue even the best of us!

Luckily, many single gals, myself included are patient enough to wait on the right man. Hopefully the dating game doesn't scar us too much as we search for 'the one'.

I don't think we hate yall...but we are frustrated.  I know so many black women who honestly want to believe the best in most black men but get dissappointed with how they are treated.  I agree with MsB...some guys are just jerks but honestly speaking...most times...what has frustrated me most about black men and black relationships in general is how much we just don't trust one another.  Again...so caught up in not getting played and playing stupid games with one another...

At some point, we have to decide to be more open and trusting of one another but that is much easier said than done...

@msbnmd-  I appreciate your input on this topic..It is a very sensative one because it tends to cause a lot of finger pointing.  I love the fact that you love black men!  It is unfortunate that you, as we all have, have had to deal with the wrong person.  I asked this question because I sense a tone in the way I hear black women speack about black men.  I love black women but the attitude that some of them have adopted is very negative towards brothas and I think that it is unjust. i think that a lot of these women have taken on the issues of other black women and havent had any experiences of their own.  I dated a woman that had never been in a relationship but had the nerve to talk about what her friends had been through.  Needless to say, the relationship didn't work.  SHe thoght that I would do the same things that her friends men did to them!  I think that we all need to look at ourselves and not be so judgmental of the other gender!  The first word in this topic was HELP!!!  We as black men may actually need black women to help us learn how to treat you instead of telling us that we are no good or that you would rather date women than deal with what you really want!  Why cant the sistas help us and show us.  I have no problem with showing a woman how i want to be loved and treated.  But for some reason our women find some meaning in suffereing in vain!  Open your mouths and tell us what you want and open your hearts and allow us to give it to you!  DOnt think that just because a man doesnt do what you want him to do all of the time that he somehow deserves payback!  If a man folloed you all the time he wouldnt be considered a man and you would consider him soft!  I really think that you shouldnt struggle with dating a man that is not american.  If he kakes you happy hten roll with it!  Just don think that you cant find a good black man here!  The crazy

thing is that there are more good ones out here than there are bad ones!  What happens is that you only talk about or are only shown the bad ones or the heartbreak that they leave in their paths and black women equate these actions of a few misguided brothas to being what all black men do!  What black women dont ask themselves is "what am I doing to keep attracting the wrong kind of man towards me?"  What kinds of signals are you sending out?  If every man that you date is on the same kind of BS then the problem is not the men!

I don't think black women hate black men, but like others have said, there is a lot of frustration and distrust.  Some of this is from bad experiences that black women have had.  Some it is the result of longstanding problems in our community that have yet to be addressed (residual problems from racism, generational poverty, etc).

In my experience, more black men have held negative opinions of black women, and do not innately took to protect and nurture black women.  Heck, very many black men even publically and repeatedly denigrate blackness in womanhood (in regards to appearance) but yet claim they love black women.  We in turn hear this, experience it, and begin to develop a deep-seated resentment because those who should be our lovers and protectors often are not.  Furthermore, a lot of black women feel like they are invisible, that things that matter to us don't matter to black men.  Pick any issue complicating the lives of black women, and inevitably the men participating in the discussion will find a way to 1.) turn the issue around so that it focuses on the problems that men face; 2.) downplay the seriousness of the issue; and/or 3.) Find some way to "blame" the black woman for the problem and suggest ways that she/they can fix it, without any responsibility or accountability assigned to the men.

No we don't hate black men, but we are tired of the wrong black men coming into our lives. I love my black men, support my black men. But I am tired of looking at all the trifling woman walking around with them. I am tired of all the wrong men approaching me. I have lived here for 2 years and I am still single because I am approached by no good men. Mr. Married, Mr. Got A Girl, Mr. Only Want To Have Sex. Mr. Liar. But where is Mr. Right? It's like they are invisible, or they chose not to show themself because they been hurt before.
I know I am a good woman with out a doubt in my mind. I am told by guys that I am a good woman, but the ones that you could be in a relationship with never live anywhere near you. The ones that want to be in a relationship with you are the ones that are already taken or the ones that are no good.
I do believe that they are still good men out there, I just think that they don't live anywhere near me! So someone please direct me to where they are LOL!
But no women don't hate black men, but they are tired of all the BULL they do, and put us thru!!!

No we don't hate black men, but we are tired of the wrong black men coming into our lives. I love my black men, support my black men. But I am tired of looking at all the trifling woman walking around with them. I am tired of all the wrong men approaching me. I have lived here for 2 years and I am still single because I am approached by no good men. Mr. Married, Mr. Got A Girl, Mr. Only Want To Have Sex. Mr. Liar. But where is Mr. Right? It's like they are invisible, or they chose not to show themself because they been hurt before.
I know I am a good woman with out a doubt in my mind. I am told by guys that I am a good woman, but the ones that you could be in a relationship with never live anywhere near you. The ones that want to be in a relationship with you are the ones that are already taken or the ones that are no good.
I do believe that they are still good men out there, I just think that they don't live anywhere near me! So someone please direct me to where they are LOL!
But no women don't hate black men, but they are tired of all the BULL they do, and put us thru!!!

No we don't hate black men, but we are tired of the wrong black men coming into our lives. I love my black men, support my black men. But I am tired of looking at all the trifling woman walking around with them. I am tired of all the wrong men approaching me. I have lived here for 2 years and I am still single because I am approached by no good men. Mr. Married, Mr. Got A Girl, Mr. Only Want To Have Sex. Mr. Liar. But where is Mr. Right? It's like they are invisible, or they chose not to show themself because they been hurt before.
I know I am a good woman with out a doubt in my mind. I am told by guys that I am a good woman, but the ones that you could be in a relationship with never live anywhere near you. The ones that want to be in a relationship with you are the ones that are already taken or the ones that are no good.
I do believe that they are still good men out there, I just think that they don't live anywhere near me! So someone please direct me to where they are LOL!
But no women don't hate black men, but they are tired of all the BULL they do, and put us thru!!!

No we don't hate black men, but we are tired of the wrong black men coming into our lives. I love my black men, support my black men. But I am tired of looking at all the trifling woman walking around with them. I am tired of all the wrong men approaching me. I have lived here for 2 years and I am still single because I am approached by no good men. Mr. Married, Mr. Got A Girl, Mr. Only Want To Have Sex. Mr. Liar. But where is Mr. Right? It's like they are invisible, or they chose not to show themself because they been hurt before.
I know I am a good woman with out a doubt in my mind. I am told by guys that I am a good woman, but the ones that you could be in a relationship with never live anywhere near you. The ones that want to be in a relationship with you are the ones that are already taken or the ones that are no good.
I do believe that they are still good men out there, I just think that they don't live anywhere near me! So someone please direct me to where they are LOL!
But no women don't hate black men, but they are tired of all the BULL they do, and put us thru!!!

@ DaQueen-  You speak about black men as if you feel that most of us are no good or always playing games.  Im not pointing fingers but this seems to be that same song that other black women are singing.  I know that there are men out there that are no good.  But our women act as if all of us are that way or when they see us all they see is a no good man.  How can you say there arent any good men around you?  What are you doing or not doing  to attract or deflect them?  I dont know you so I am just posing the question but usually the women that tell me what you are telling me are on some BULL themselves or are un realistic about certain expectations.  One factor that stands out to me when it comes to black women (  I say black women becuse I havent dated women of other races) is that you are extremely impatient!  You dont give things a chance to grow or you are trying to force something to grow in a particular direction.  You said that you have been here for 2 years and are still single.  DID YOU MOVE HERE TO FIND A MAN?  If that was your sole purpose for moving then youmade an impatient decision.  I dont know what you are looking for in a man but I hope that you and other disappointed black women can first find it in yourself!

G-smoove,
Oh no I don't think that all guys are the same, and I don't think that all of them play games. What I was saying is majority of the guys do. This isn't just from my own expeiernce, but just from listening to other woman as well. I know that there are good men out there, I am just saying that in the past two years I haven't met any, but like one or two.  No I didn't move here to find a man never that, I wouldn't move anywhere to find a man. I moved here to better myself and have a better life for me and my kids. But while I am here I have met guys, and let's just say the experience has not been a good one. I can honestly tell you that me myself is not on no BULL. I am a real woman, and a good woman. When meeting a guy I don't put this big demand or expectation on them. I am a go with the flow type of woman. All i ask is for honesty because I am so down to earth, there is no reason for the guy to lie, but yet they do. I don't go around wanting men for their money, or what they can do for me. I don't go around looking for married men, or men that are already taken. I am divorced, so I have been in a long committed relationship before, so I am no stranger to the dating scene, or relationship scene. But like I said we don't hate men, I don't hate men. I just wish the men (who do) would stop playing games, and lying, and doing all the stuff they know will hurt woman, to make woman want to hate men. That's all I am saying. One thing I have noticed about where I live is that the men here don't want a good woman in their life, they want to play the field, and they want a woman that will allow them to do whatever they want. I have met guys here from all areas, the clubs, the sports bar, the store, the resteraunt, or online. So I have a variety to go along about the guys who are no good. I do know that there are good men out there, and that is why I don't hate men, or treat them all the same!! Never have, never will!