There's been plenty of movies, articles and complaints saying good men or good women are hard to find. So why is it so hard to find these "Good" people if we're all claiming to be so good? Can someone define, in your pwn opinion, what makes a "good" person to date?

I think "good" is really mediocre. See when a person say they are good they are really saying I choose to do right, when wrong is present. I can forgive and move on, while other are stuck in the midst of confusion. I can still love when hate feels justified. I will support the person im with although sometimes he dont deserve it. These qualities are "GOOD" but When we are searching for a significant other we want other criterias to come into play like looks, money, nice jobs. So instead of looking for a "good" catch we really want an over the top catch.
In my opinion a good person to date is a person willing to accept you just as you are, If he know I like to shop, he's willing to fork over some cash. If he know I love sports, buy me tickets to an event. If he know I hate to cook, he will cook for me. In return I will make him happy because im happy. Many times a person is "good" only till we get to know them a little better and then we find faults and flaws. Doesnt mean the person is still not "GOOD" just not for us.

@Loveless

That was nice summary of what you feel is considered a good catch or not because there's not a right or wrong answer but just a matter of opinion. I think when men/women are doing what they're supposed to do, they feel they're automatically a good catch. But if you don't think you're a good catch, then who else will? The problem is some assume every person should feel the same way about you but each person has a different critera for what they consider to be good for them personally. We can't keep doing the same things that we did with other women/men, we have to prove we're capable of being considered "good" to person in particular person we're dating. What might be considered good for one woman may be an expected gesture and nothing out the norm.

Can someone define, in your pwn opinion, what makes a "good" person to date?  My personal variation on what makes a "good" person to date, is someone who is an active listener and participates in moving along the conversation from topic to topic.  She will participate financially on the date(s) with either picking up the tip or paying for the meal sometimes.  During outdoor concerts or outings, she will participate with cooking (preferably chicken...lol) or even bringing along somethings to enhance our outing, etc. 

She will be fairly punctual, polite, pleasant, and considerate. 

@Wood

Before you became locked down (engaged not prison for new readers), was this type of woman hard to find?

Yes.  Over the three years that I've known my girl, I can say that she has absolutely no "game" or play in her, and I have yet to detect one of those "sisterly" attitudes.  If as if the Sista-hood hasn't had a chance to contaminate and fill her head up with their schemes.  I immediately realized that I had to hang my "game" hat in the closet when I met her and had no intentions of basically taking candy from a baby, in regards to taking advantage of the situation.

I like the game, even at my age of 46, and I never had serious thoughts that a typical sista would even make me think about leaving the game.  You've heard all the BS that I say I have to have in order to get married. 
Luckily, we are actually very compatible and our relationship is very seemless in how we interacts... we have never had an arguement, just "discussions" about a few differences.

Imagine me sticking to and holding firm on my number one criteria and realistically thinking you can find a sista who have not cough up some casual loving...  hell, I was serious.

Regarding other glaring attributes.

That was just the start.  It would take a certain "temperment" and disposition for me to want to marry.  I'm not really a forceful guy and I can't get into a whole lot of fussing and crazy personality... I'm actually a peaceful and low key guy who has to have a low key woman.  As a man, I would have to place my future wife above my mom, and of all my worldly possessions, she is to be my primary benefactor... not family, not mom, but the future wife that I have to place on a higher pedestal than myself and above all others.

I admire my girl and I think she is better than me... she has to be.

She has to be my better half, because I don't want a woman like me... hell naw!!!

If I'm the equal or better half in my marriage, I'm in deep ass trouble...lol.

What is funny Blaze, is that no matter which city or venue you go to, you will seemingly well mannered, well dressed and presumingly well adjusted black men and women who appears primed for meeting and interacting with each other.  Something isn't clicking past a certain phase of those relationships that either have gotten poisoned during some point or something.

I can imagine the first phase of the relationship being the best part when the sex has begun, but before the expectations and the titles have been established.  This is the easy and breezy part.

Once the titles and expectations have sat in, the "goodness" that each person brings to the table remains, but personalities, attitudes and other factors of compatibilities take root and most interactions fall flat.  I think many brothas are not feeling very motivated to go beyond this point, but for some reasons, the woman that many are involved with, feel that the relationship is strong enough to proceed forward...

I think folks got plenty of "companionship", but they aren't moving forward to the next level.

Something is missing at this point in a whole lot of BM/BF relationships.

Okay...a good catch:  A man who knows how to be a good friend.  A man whose word is bond.  A man of strong character and integrity.  A man whose actions are in alignment with his words.  A man who can articulate ALL of his thoughts, and has the ability to discern when/where/how to communicate them. 

A man who takes care of himself and his family.  A man who's cool with my strength and accepting of my weaknesses.  A man who can find humor in just about every aspect of life.  A man who will stroke my mind before attempting to stroke my body.  A man who acknowledges & respects a power greater than himself.  A man who loves me...blemishes and all.

Cosign what Dashon said - I can't say it any better.

@All

I see everyone has their own list of what should be considered a "good" mate but in your opinion why is it so hard for "good" people to meet? I come across good people (men and women) daily and they seem to have trouble finding or connecting with other "good" people.

In your opinion, what are some of the reasons why there's such a disconnect?

Everything ain't for everybody.  Besides aesthetics, there are a number of reasons that someone won't click with another "good" person.  The personalities may not mesh, they could not be emotionally ready to enter into something, they could have a "meet-fugly" instead of the "meet -cute" you see in the rom-coms. Or, one party could commit a unforgivable trespass without knowing it. Imean, there are minor things, pet peeves, that set each of us off that would cause even the most attractive suitor to fizzle in our estimation.

I see everyone has their own list of what should be considered a "good" mate but in your opinion why is it so hard for "good" people to meet?

Blaze, I'm convinced that the "good" people are meeting, talking, hooking up and maybe some dates, but from what I've always seen, was like the old saying goes... everybody got somebody somewhere.  The thing that I perceived was that folks got someone that they are not claiming under the umbrella of being "single", and are just keep their options and eye out for the old "better option".

I would like to see the hands of all the FH folks, lurkers included, who claims to be "single", who are not just single, but do not have anyone they are spending some intimate time and moments with at some interval.

I bet not one hand goes in the air.

Not you IntroSpectv, we all know your situation is legit...lol.

Hmmm...a "good" catch is personal. What works for me isn't going to work for you.  So, I could list what I am looking for but someone else may come behind, look at my list, and say "uh...I don't think so".   So, i am skipping the list.

I do believe that Wood is right in that we probably all have met "good" people but want the "better" option.  I think the "better" option is probably just one or two things on someone's list that sets them apart from the all the "good" ones.  But let's face it there are some people out there that is looking for perfection so no one is ever going to be "good" to them. 

I also think your age has a lot to do with how soon youu determine that you've found someone of marriage material as well as your relationship history.