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by true2me on March 15, 2010, 11:29 pm in General
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*In the voice of scooby doo* ERRRUURRRHHH
I couldn't believe it. He was basically condoning ole boy's cussing me out. I was offended. Point blank, I thought it was a bit punkish.
This led to me creating a twit rant topic regarding bitch azz punk men. I got a few responses, but one really baffled me. Dude said that if he saw a woman getting beat by a man he would NOT assist.
*pause*
WOW...what kinda men are we breeding now. What kinda man would say he would just walk on by or keep walking if he saw a man kicking the living shyt out of a woman. (He also asked would I help a man if a woman was beating him..I know ..STUPID SHYT..FUCKTARD men and women are not = physically.....bet you same dude imposes wack double standards on women..but I digress with his azz there)
The same kind that breeds men who would watch a girl getting gang raped.
The same kind that breeds men that would stand by and watch another boy get jumped and beat to death.
The same kind that breeds men that would run a train on a vulnerable attention starved girl.
Have we become so much of a separatist society that we would truly stand by and watch people getting violated and assaulted and not do nothing? Not even call the police? NOTHING?
Are our men just becoming scarier and scarier, and if so, what are the reasons?
1. Lack of a strong male figure in the household? Women cannot raise men, sure they can do their best, but only a MAN can teach a boy how to be a MAN. I am starting to see the effects of not having a real man in a boys life. The effects BITCH AZZ MEN who run scared like women when in a hostile situation.
2. Could it be that men are moving away from the blue collar and more towards being more bougie the white collar? Yes I am talking about Black men because thats who I relate to, but this question can apply to anyone. Could it be that we are more used to being catered to, not really having to get down the nitty gritty of hard work and labor? Used to things just coming easy for us? We don't want to get our feet wet, our nose dirty, our suit wrinkled?
3. Perhaps our men are just too damn prissy. Getting pedicures and manicures. Used to be only little Richard wannabees would be all up in the nail and hair salon. Now you got grown as men getting their eyebrows tweezed. Perhaps they don't want to end up in a scuffle because they don't want to break a nail or mess up their pretty face.
I remember reading OneChelle's Blog, Black n' Bougie, and how she talked about needing a man for protection, well OneChelle, lemme tell ya, the way its looking, we are better off protecting ourselves. Cuz men nowadays are just as bitch made as the next one.
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On March 15, 2010, 11:54 pm loveless says:
I know exactly what you are talking about. I know I read other people blogs and status and they always talk about women want thugs -vs-nice guys. Its not that but I want a man I know will defend me at all cost, even if I am wrong. We were at a party for my niece one day. She had just turned 21 and still very naive. Her husband was on the dance floor dancing with my sister when the commotion broke out. Some guy rubbed on my niece back telling her how pretty she was. My niece asked him to stop touching her but he was persistent. I was like damn didnt you hear her. He told me she was 21 and can make her own decisions. B4 I could put my foot in his a** the guy I was with beat the sh** out of the guy for disrespecting me and my niece, The bouncers threw the guy out because of course we were regulars at the club. I want my man to be at man at all times, no questions asked. The worst turn off to me is a man who doesnt respond to a situation. Its like Im going to need you to say something baby.
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On March 16, 2010, 3:50 am IntroSpectiv says:
I have too much to say regarding this topic.
@ true2me I agree that whatever dude was sitting next to you COULD have spoken up when the guy was arguing with you about your seat. But......Unless that dude was your boyfriend, husband, or otherwise REALLY good friend....He isn't obligated to do ANYTHING for you. Sticking up for a woman and defending her in a VERBAL ARGUMENT against some RANDOM GUY in a club doesn't quite (at least not in my opinion) make the cut. And who knows what could have happened if your friend had jumped in? Maybe the dude had a weapon on him....now your friend just got shot or stabbed over something STUPID. I remember about 5 years ago....I was with a female on a date and here comes what turned out to be her crazy-ass ex boyfriend out of nowhere talking shit to her and getting in her face....so me being the soon-to-be ex-nice guy I am, I tried breaking up the argument....and dude pulls a knife on me. While nobody got hurt, it sure woke me up to what happens to good men most of the time. (And ole girl? Let's just say I gave her a really large and uncensored piece of my mind the next day.) I want to make it clear, however, that I DO NOT condone male-on-female violence of any sort.....If it is absolutely necessary, I will do whatever it takes to look out for a lady if she's in a compromising situation....but I try really hard to not associate with women that put themselves in compromising situations. |
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On March 16, 2010, 3:53 am IntroSpectiv says:
@ loveless
So why is it that nice guys automatically have to be pussies who can't defend themselves or anyone else and thugs are automatically these tough guys who can handle any conflict? Hardly the truth. I've seen some of the biggest, hardest wannabe thugs fold up in critical situations. If women want to continue worshipping thugs because they 'believe' a thug can protect her in hard times, then maybe there is no point in discussing this stuff....But when Mr. Thug starts beating the hell out of YOU...or when you catch him cheating on YOU.....or when whatever other thugs he was beefing with at the time come kicking down YOUR door.....don't come back wondering where all the good men went. I've had women that turned me down in the past for Mr. Thug come back hoping I'd forgive them. Hellllllllllllll to the no....LOL (By the way......Not saying YOU personally....just in general.) |
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On March 16, 2010, 7:16 am phoenix says:
@Intro
I find your comments somewhat troubling considering the fact that you're in the military, particulary the following one: He isn't obligated to do ANYTHING for you. Sticking up for a woman and defending her in a VERBAL ARGUMENT against some RANDOM GUY in a club doesn't quite (at least not in my opinion) make the cut. According to true2me, the guy was threatening her with violence. Whether he was serious or not is besides the point, you got to step in and calm down the matter. Another point I wanted to make is remember from the Spider Man comic books and the first movie, how Peter Parker let the thief go and steal the promotor's money because it "wasn't his problem" then later found out that same thief killed his Uncle Ben? What if some dude was getting in a woman's face and started beating her down and you did nothing because you didn't know her but later found out she was a sister of your best friend. That best friend would be pretty upset at you, don't you think? Whether you know her or not doesn't matter. To me, a guy has to be pretty weak (mentally) to get upset and use the threat of violence against a woman because she didn't want to move from her seat!!! By the way, you did the right thing 5 years ago with the crazy ex boyfriend. No one got hurt and who knows what would of happened if you DIDN'T step in. You didn't need to call out that girl, though, just walk away. @true2me I generally agree with you except with reasons 2 and 3 of why men seem like bitch asses. It's has nothing to do with class or image. You said it best in reason 1, men are not being raised by fathers or worst their fathers are physically around but not really there for their sons when they need them. |
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On March 16, 2010, 8:11 am loveless says:
@Phoenix THANK THANK YOU THANK YOU
@Intro let me see, where do I begin First of all a THUG is not a GANGSTER. They dont violently just go around roughing ppl up for no apparent reason. When I speak of a thug it could and most likely be an educated thug, Someone who knows the struggle in the street, has been a part of it someone thats not naive in the world. He's book and street educated, He would never let anyone disrespect a woman, his mama, sister or a woman period because he know there's a better way to handle business. I dont date the so called nice guys because they never want to be a part of the struggle or anything that has the word conflict attached to it. See I see my President as a Thug, He can articulate, give his wife a pound, give his buddy the black hug and drink a beer. A nice guy would be too concerned if he was doing the right thing. If a guy called me a bitch and Im with a man and he was too concerned if the other man had a weapon or not, so he just pulled me away from the situation. OH PLEASE BELIEVE IT WOULD BE THE LAST TIME WE SAW EACH OTHER> |
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On March 16, 2010, 8:29 am IntroSpectiv says:
@ loveless
I don't understand why women love trying to draw that definitive line between a thug and a gangster....like the two are different somehow. There is no such thing as an educated thug or an educated gangster. I had to debunk that myth when I got to Howard and dudes are walking around with engineering textbooks in their hands but their pants are hanging off their asses and they're approaching every woman with the infamous, "Hey yo, shawty....what you name is?" lines..... And just because a man chooses to do things the right way does not make him a punk or a sissy. Stop being so shallow-minded and stop glorifying thuggish behavior out of men. That's part of the reason dudes still do it.....and women wonder why some men don't know how to treat women right.....Y'all find 100 million ways to trash the good man and praise the thug! And this I find disturbing: If a guy called me a bitch and Im with a man and he was too concerned if the other man had a weapon or not, so he just pulled me away from the situation. OH PLEASE BELIEVE IT WOULD BE THE LAST TIME WE SAW EACH OTHER> Wouldn't the ultimate goal be to get away from that situation, anyway? Do you really live the kind of lifestyle where dudes are in your face calling you a bitch everyday or something and you need a man there just in case things get physical? Are things that bad to the point where you expect that out of random men on the street? |
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On March 16, 2010, 8:35 am IntroSpectiv says:
@ Phoenix
To me, a guy has to be pretty weak (mentally) to get upset and use the threat of violence against a woman because she didn't want to move from her seat!!! That is my point.....What kind of club was she hanging out in where guys do that? This speaks more of THAT dude's ignorance than it does some unlucky schlub faced with the decision of stepping in and risking himself over some ignorant ass thug wanna-be. Maybe she needs to hang at more mature spots or something. That might help up the class of men she encounters. I maintain that while ole boy COULD have said something.....it is not the end of the world because he DIDN'T. Unless the OP finds gangsters and thugs sexy or she just secretly likes the idea of two men potentially fighting over her or something weird like that.....I'm just saying. (Yeah, I have met women like that. It happens.) But over WORDS? I don't know.....Now if the guy actually started physically hitting a woman?......Yeah, his ass gots to go. |
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On March 16, 2010, 9:04 am loveless says:
@Intro we can debate this all day, month and year and we will never get anywhere. Im not going to take this personal. see I realize this is more about your hang ups than it is about mine. A stupid guy can be set off at any moment so its not about my lifestyle or where I live or where I hang out @. I can be at a grocery store and get in the express line with 13 items instead of the 12. A BITCH ASS guy like True was talking about would more than likely call me a bitch. OK I can brush it off but hell no. Im going to say something to his punk ass. WTH. I dont need a man to protect me because I grew up with 5 brothers and 5 sisters, Im the middle child, Thats all I know is fighting. Thats another story all together. The point is Bitch Ass guys mess with women and children because they see them as less than. A real man would confront this behavior because he see women in general as his grandmother, mother or daughter. You just may see this guy as a threat, he may or may not have a weapon. I dont give a damn. Thats why I dont date so called nice guys. I would personally have my brother kick someone ass if they wait until someone hit me. YOUR GOT TO BE KIDDING RIGHT! HIT ME> All the so called thugs I have ever went out with, I have never been hit or called out my name. Its something thats called respect.
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On March 16, 2010, 9:17 am IntroSpectiv says:
@ loveless
Ok then. Fair enough. We'll agree to disagree on this one. Moving on.... |
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On March 16, 2010, 11:54 am Wood says:
Personally, and I have done this on more than few times. Depending on the circumstances of him going to the dance floor and leaving his drink in front of the chair/stool that she was sitting in. If he was just sitting there, left his drink there and went to the dance floor, I would suggest that she move over. If he came across respectful, I would suggest she move over. If ole boy just role up all disrespectful, I would try to mitigate the situation, but she would have to keep her mouth shut.
Many of these younger sistas got too much damn mouth. If he made threats of physical harm, I would have told him "no you are not", and ask her whether she want to press charges on him... but she can't be running off at the damn mouth with some emotional BS. I would inform the manager/personel of the incident I would step in, but she would have to keep her damn mouth shut. I am not going to let some trash talking woman "cast" me in a situation that gravitates to a situation that is no longer about the chair, but now it has escalated into pure egos and words. Personally, I know the laws and getting caught up in an ego generated physical altercation will get me on the 5 o'clock news with serious discipline action with possibly termination... I'm a brotha, we don't get the breaks like white folks. Whatever the situation, she would have to keep her mouth shut, and I would tell her to do so. I'm trying to decelerate the situation, not get in the middle of some BS. In regards to my woman being called a "bitch". That happened to me many years ago, and I walked up to old boy and stated to him... "I'm a bitch, would you like to fuck me", he denied call her that name, so I let it go. She came up and strongly refute his denial, and wanted an apology... that isn't likely to happen, and I'm not going to get in a public brawl trying to get one. |
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On March 16, 2010, 12:49 pm MassAppeal says:
@All All I have to add is regardless if it's two women arguing, two men or a split and if I'm trying to cool out and grab a nice drink after work, I'm going to diffuse the situation in a professional manner. If the woman is with me, no matter if she's a platonic friend, my main lady or even a stranger, you have to step in before things get out of hand. This is why there's so much uneccasary voilence because we let things get out of hand from the start. @True How come you just couldn't move over one seat for dude? Was it that much an inconvenience? You're dude was wrong by even letting it get that far though but I'm not going to let you off the hook. Some women do start a mess and expect their dudes to always come and clean it up. Over a seat? Some women are just too slick out the mouth. @Intro and Loveless You all good? I think we take too much out of lables such as thugs,bad boys and what we determine what actions define how we determine what is considered a real man. |
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On March 16, 2010, 7:14 pm IntroSpectiv says:
@ Wood
I would step in, but she would have to keep her damn mouth shut. I am not going to let some trash talking woman "cast" me in a situation that gravitates to a situation that is no longer about the chair, but now it has escalated into pure egos and words. Personally, I know the laws and getting caught up in an ego generated physical altercation will get me on the 5 o'clock news with serious discipline action with possibly termination... I'm a brotha, we don't get the breaks like white folks. Funny how I said damn near the same thing, yet I got the third degree when I said it. This place is starting to feel like Living & Loving on BlackVoices all over again. |
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On March 16, 2010, 9:14 pm JustAThought says:
Honestly, I think this type of bytch#ssness is caused not only by men not having their fathers and other positive male role models growing up, but also by black men not being taught to value black women in general. Nowadays, there are unspoken cultural conditions that say it's okay to gang rape a vulnerable (drunk, drugged out, underage, physically assaulted) girl or to stand and watch said rape happen; it's okay to beat black women (this was even going on in the 20s - Their Eyes Were Watching God anyone?); it's okay to harrass, and verbally and physically assault black women day in and day out because there are rarely, if any, consequences for doing so. Not in the immediate situation, not in our communities, and not in society at large.
I do my best to avoid drama and foolish situations. I avoid physical altercations and other volatile circumstances because that's not something I want to experience, or to cause a man in my company to have to deal with. However, it's not too much to ask my man to be a man and to step in and calm something down. Men want the traditional woman, they need to be prepared to be a traditional man. |
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On March 21, 2010, 11:31 am wotubenmissn says:
@Just
In the above situation, true admitted that she did NOT act like a lady from the onset, it "eventuallyhad to come back out." So I think that it's a lil bit of a leap to say she's a "traditional woman," if you're wanting to paint the whole over-generalized 'traditional man-woman' situations. Second she stated this dude is a mere friend. I love to see platonic situations because that demonstrates a certain level of being independent. How independence relates to traditional roles is a whole other matter. In this situation, as an independent woman she should be acting as if her man-friend is not there. That way, at the end of the day, she shouldn't feel some kindofway because he did this or that. The situation as described seems like the 3rd party was crazy. So yes guy could have stepped in to diffuse the situation, but he isn't OBLIGATED to do so, unless he's going around talking about, "hey I want you to act more like a traditional woman because I'm YOUR traditional man." These two are just friends. Every man is not Capt Save... |
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On March 22, 2010, 10:44 am true2me says:
wow...I see the bitchyness in men is really still rampant. whatever. I feel as REAL MEN you should step in to at least diffuse a situation. No you don't have to risk your life, no you don't have to defend her, but again, its what a traditional REAL MAN would do. A simple "Calm down dude, it's not that serious" woulda sufficed. I just hate it..I hate that we women have to defend ourselves because you "not our man" but want us to tone down the independence...what is it going to be ???? ...
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On March 22, 2010, 1:04 pm MassAppeal says:
Hold up True. I agree that both men were wrong about how they handled the situation but when are you going to learn not to be so rampant out the mouth to prevent this situation from happening again? I would bet if a man wasn't there with you, platonic or your boo, you would've handled the situation completely differently. U would of slid that ass over and let him have that seat.
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On March 22, 2010, 4:35 pm Wood says:
You got that right Mass. I bet she gave ole boy a shitty look and some lip and start running off with the mouth, but when ole boy jumped in her shit and sent her the message that she might catch one to that smart talking grill, that scared the hell out of her.
All that lip she was talking, now she want someone to say something to the other person, when she could have easily kept the situation under wraps with some tact, instead of trying to pull her "lady" card when shit start getting too deep. A "real" man would have told her to shut the fuck up and move the hell over and let that man sit where he placed his coat and drink. |
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On March 22, 2010, 6:33 pm wotubenmissn says:
Lol, in addition which is it going to be, are you Ms. Independent, or Ms. "I depend on" someone to get me out of sticky situations? To me a verbal argument with a person where a platonic friend (male or female) doesn't jump in, does not rise to the level of, "omg, you are a dude-bitch!" Ur a grown azz woman, either act like it and handle ur situation, or refer crazy dude to your friend so that he can save u.
Maybe his presence is what kept Mr. Crazy from taking his bitchassedness to the next level and hitting you, who knows. To me, crying over someone not stepping in to handle your business is the bitchYness that you reference, and not the bitchassness if there is a difference. It was just an argument. I agree with Mass in that all y'all were wrong on some level. Unfortunately (depending on one's stance) the days of "traditional" roles are pretty much gone, it's 2010 stuff has evolved. We as dudes can't pick and choose when we want folks to be in their "role" and neither can women. Correct me if I'm wrong, but when Crazy dude asked for the seat, wouldn't the traditional role play be, "can you please ask my man-friend whether I should get up?" Lol! Ultimately at the end of the day, it was just a verbal altercation, and only pride was bruised. (I'm referencing the case in point, not the numerous physical situations u mentioned where dudes idly sit by). Hopefully, you took this point up with your man-friend instead of having a Scooby Doo moment. That would have really been some strong woman communication, as opposed to taking the non-traditional route of creating a twitter rant. |
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On March 22, 2010, 7:35 pm IntroSpectiv says:
@ True
It is possible to be both a LADY and INDEPENDENT at the same time. That's the problem in today's society....So many women are doing great things for themselves that they forgot how to be HUMBLE and learn how to shut the fuck up sometimes....then they want Prince Charming to fly in and save her ass when her mouth writes a check the aforementioned ass can't cash. |
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On March 23, 2010, 8:41 am loveless says:
Or is it just possible that men have gotten to the point where they are scared to say something to another man. Maybe thats it. All I can say for the brothers that are on this blog chewing True out, what if it was your daughter on a bus or train or whatever and a man wanted to sit next to her when there were plenty of empty seats. What if she just happen to speak up for herself and say, go sit somewhere else and the man called her a name. Same scenerio with a different person. Now when she call her daddy, does the daddy just say. Let him sit next to you and shut the fu** up? Come on Bitchass men, speak up now.
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On March 23, 2010, 9:29 am IntroSpectiv says:
@ loveless
If it comes to such a blatantly obvious situation such as the one you described where my family is involved....then yes, I'm stepping in and peacefully laying down the law. But I'd also educate my daughter (should I ever have one) on how to tactfully talk to people in the first place.....Instead of "Go sit somewhere else", maybe a simple "No" would suffice......or if it was THAT serious and there were THAT many empty seats on the bus, I'd advise that SHE just get up and go sit in one of them. Problem solved. I think some of y'all just like trying to play Big Bad Wolf games and y'all got too much pride sometimes. I've seen situations like the one you described get out of hand not just because the man involved was a loser, but because the woman decided to entertain said loser in the wrong fashion. Your turn. |
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On March 23, 2010, 9:48 am MassAppeal says:
@loveless
Really? But again you're the same person who considers the President to be a thug because he's versatile. He can give a pound to being articulate to drinking a beer. President Obama is a thug. Listen to what you're saying, it kind of kills your crediblity with comments like that. After that there's no need to go back and forth with nonsense banter because we're not trying to whoop every mans ass because voices were raised. As said before, both sides were accountable for that situation getting out of hand. |
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On March 23, 2010, 11:09 am loveless says:
Dang Mass dont take what I say to heart. I love my president and he represent toughness and swagg. THUG lol anyway when the media was talking about Sarah Palin's kids My Thug President stepped in, although he didnt have to but he said, The media should not discuss the children and was really angry about it. See he could have had the upper hand by continuing to let the media ride his rival's children but he stepped up to the plate. He was a man that could have shut up and see how it played out like some ppl would've but he knew he had to take a stand because if he didnt, his children would have been attacked by the media. Did I say a real man?
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On March 23, 2010, 11:16 am Wood says:
Same scenerio with a different person. Now when she call her daddy, does the daddy just say. Let him sit next to you and shut the fu** up?
You are close Loveless, but I wouldn't tell her to "shut the fuck up", but I would advise her that you are on a public bus and that if a person ask to sit next to you, that implies that there is a seat to be had, and that she should just keep her mouth shut and move the hell over. Or is it just possible that men have gotten to the point where they are scared to say something to another man. Maybe thats it. I don't think men are scared, but due to the volitle climate out there, most working progressive folks are more selective and utilize more caution and insight before jumping into matters that can get quickly and easily explode into somethime extemely serious and volitile. As a Police Officer, I respond to tons of domestic situation where as we were trying to calm a domestic situation and keep it from escalating into a more serious situation. I can't count how many times how some big mouth shit talking woman who refuse to follow our orders to stay inside while we try to mitigate a situation with her BF/SO/Husband, only to egg the shit out of him to the point of him going off and causing us to have to wrestle and having to fight with him to bring him under control. I remember this one situation where as this big mouth sista who call us because her husband had issues when he came home early from work and saw anuugnugga in his house. Two brothas fought, and the husband left the home before we arrived. As we pulled, she comes out side talking shit about "yeah, I was fucking him...blah blah blah about how she was going to take a restraining order and put him out", etc. We told that helfa to go back inside, but she ran up to him talking shit and he knocked the shit out of her. We arrested him but she begged for it. |
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On March 23, 2010, 11:55 am loveless says:
@Wood OK point taken but still dont emotional desensitize yourself towards violence on women because you see so many with big A mouths and will not shut up when you expect then to. The woman could have caught her bf or husband cheating on numerous occasions and she was just expressing her anger at the time. I really do understand to the guys reading this blog but I still express my anger at whoever is ticking me off that day. I remember it was the fourth of July and a lady walked in a Rite Aid drug store with a bikini on. She was trashy and had 2 black eyes so you know she's been through some stuff, But the thing that stuck out was this lady had 2 small children with her and she was buying a bunch of junk for them like water guns and chips and stuff to make them happy. Well when she got to the register and payed 4 her items on the way out the door the alarm sounded. The cashier left to actually see what this lady had stolen. Remember its a holiday. The lines are super long and this lady have on a bikini. I politely told the cashier if an item wasnt paid for its your fault. the lady could not have taken anything because she dont have on any clothes. Meanwhile instead of taking heed to what I am saying, the cashier continue her search. I was outraged at this point. I could have left but all the other stores would have been closing. Sometimes I find it necessary to speak up when everyone else is shutting up.
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On March 23, 2010, 3:17 pm loveless says:
@ Mass I apologize to you and the other guys on the blog too but I think more men should speak up. Its a reason women are so outspoken. It was a time when we were nice little timid girls that wasnt allowed to speak, Im just glad women b4 us gave us a voice. My last thought. We can just agree to disagree too.
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On March 23, 2010, 4:31 pm MassAppeal says:
@loveless
I have no prolems with women speaking up, just speak up in a tactful manner. No need to be loud and vulgar to make a point. |
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On March 23, 2010, 5:48 pm Wood says:
I have no prolems with women speaking up, just speak up in a tactful manner. No need to be loud and vulgar to make a point.
Ditto this comment. Loveless, I've done it and I've seen other do it, when a brotha is sitting next to one seat and two sista approach. One sista sit while the other is standing next to the seat. Many times the brotha will give up his seat to the other sista so they can be together. All I'm saying to any sista, is don't come out and up front with this loud strong tough ass approach when dealing with men. Some men will come back at you very strong in return, but I know that underneath all that talk, a woman is still a woman. Every man isn't the same, and some of these men will knock the sh.t out of a woman, and in many cases where as he wouldn't come at another man in such a manner because he knows he might get his ass wupped. |
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On March 29, 2010, 4:23 pm MsValleyG says:
@MassAppeal, I agree. Perhaps this situation could have easily been difused if true2me just moved over a seat. Sometimes being a peace maker works out better. Was it really that serious that you couldn't have just moved over one seat? I agree some woman tend to go at the lip too much, cause friction & then expect a man (whomever is present at the time) to bail them out. Your male friend's in-action may have very well difused the situation. His in-action really doesn't make him a b-a$$. Perhaps he just wasn't in the mood for heated conflict and felt you could have easily just moved over. In any light, I don't think his in-action takes away from his character at all.
We woman (esp'lly minority woman) need to learn how to be more docile sometimes: tame the tongue. It definitely helps. And since we're on the topic of men not being men... How about we throw a question in there, why are so many women so boisterous and man'ly... Just a question, don't knock me LOL! |
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On March 29, 2010, 4:25 pm MsValleyG says:
@Wood You are so right! Mess around try to defend your girl or the woman you're with at the moment and CATCH A CASE! I mean really is all of that necessary over such minute things as moving over a seat or eyeing someone the wrong way. Seriously, people need to stop allowing small things determine their attitudes or change their emotions.
Relax, relate.... Release!!! |
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On March 29, 2010, 4:49 pm loveless says:
@Ms. Valley Have you ever been in a situation where you just wanted to say something to somebody but you held your tounge because it was the right thing to do. Then somebody else comes along and goes off. Well everybody cant or will not stay quiet in certain situations. I had a husband and he really taught me how to stay quiet and let him handle things. Thats why I can speak from both sides. Sometimes when there was a situation at school the kids knew to call there dad first. He spoke in a calm manner. I went off. We both got our point across but had he not been the man I needed him to be, my life would have been different. I still go off from time to time cause ppl can be real ignorant. Thats just me. If a man cant handle it then thats on him. Either he's gonna take care of a sitution or I am. One time the preacher wanted me to apologize for smacking someone in church and I was like she need to apologize for screwing my husband. Yeah it was ignorant but so was he for wanting me to apologize at that moment. Then he called in his prayer warriors to put hands on me, now I know the man must have lost his mind then after I just smacked someone in church!
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On March 29, 2010, 5:00 pm MassAppeal says:
@MsValleyG
I agree with your comments. One thing I learned early is that you don't have to react and respond to everything that comes your way. It's all about discretion when you're dealing with people in the streets. @loveless I think the preacher should've gave you a pass for those actions if she was dealing with your husband. There are some exceptions to the rules. Did you pray for forgiveness afterwards? |
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On March 29, 2010, 5:11 pm loveless says:
@Mass The last thing I expected was for you to agree with me but so did a lot of the church members. My Ex-husband that woman I smacked and my children still go to that church. When I visit all heads turn my way. lol
I was too mad to pray for forgiveness afterwards but I did eventually. |
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On March 29, 2010, 5:36 pm Wood says:
One thing I learn from my older brotha, is to take a step back... not back down, but take a step back. I not only look at what is at hand, but I have to look at it from a legal standpoint. I am man enough to say that I don't want to fight a guy, but in saying that, I will throw in those words that "I will defend myself with exteme aggression"... these are my words of choice.
I want it to be heard loud and clear that "I don't want to fight"... but he will also get the message that I'm not punking out. If or when officers, my chief, and with it possibly hitting the new, arrives, it will be heard that: 1. I'm not the primary aggressor. 2. I was defending myself... even when beating the shit out of the nugga. I don't care if he is laid flat out on his back... I'm pressing charging of assault. It isn't some lint pickin nugga I'm affraid of, but it has always been the possibility of loosing all the time and years spent getting to where you are at that scares me to death. Now that I'm retired, I don't have to worry about a whole lot of sh.t that is out there... |
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On April 12, 2010, 2:53 pm curiousJ says:
I know I'm late to the game but… All of this over a freeken chair! When the whole thing could've been avoided if she would have moved! Honor, respect, & all these emotionally charged words-because someone wouldn't move over! Are you serious! So much could have gone wrong/been lost in that one moment-even a life,-and I just ask one question-would it have been worth it? My son is almost a teen, so conversations about altercations have and will come up. To my son, whom I love, protect, and am raising to be a MAN, this is what I do/will tell him: *In a physical altercation you always loose something-it doesn't matter who started it or if you actually win the fight. You could get suspended, arrested, hurt, or even lose your life. So if you feel you got to throw down, you better be sure what you gain is worth the price of what you may lose. *Self perseveration is the first rule of survival. Period. This is survival of you, your family, and anyone who is worth the possible cost. If you REALLY FEEL THREATENED and must preemptive strike, do what you must. *Be wary of people who put you in situations where their mouth or actions ignite an altercation for no good reason. These people are playing with YOUR life-STAY AWAY FROM THEM. The possible cost (getting, hurt, your life, etc.) over some words, pride, or rep is just plain stupid. I know this is advice & you would give to your son too. |
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On April 12, 2010, 2:54 pm curiousJ says:
I know I'm late to the game but… All of this over a freeken chair! When the whole thing could've been avoided if she would have moved! Honor, respect, & all these emotionally charged words-because someone wouldn't move over! Are you serious! So much could have gone wrong/been lost in that one moment-even a life,-and I just ask one question-would it have been worth it? My son is almost a teen, so conversations about altercations have and will come up. To my son, whom I love, protect, and am raising to be a MAN, this is what I do/will tell him: *In a physical altercation you always loose something-it doesn't matter who started it or if you actually win the fight. You could get suspended, arrested, hurt, or even lose your life. So if you feel you got to throw down, you better be sure what you gain is worth the price of what you may lose. *Self perseveration is the first rule of survival. Period. This is survival of you, your family, and anyone who is worth the possible cost. If you REALLY FEEL THREATENED and must preemptive strike, do what you must. *Be wary of people who put you in situations where their mouth or actions ignite an altercation for no good reason. These people are playing with YOUR life-STAY AWAY FROM THEM. The possible cost (getting, hurt, your life, etc.) over some words, pride, or rep is just plain stupid. I know this is advice & you would give to your son too. |
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On April 12, 2010, 2:54 pm curiousJ says:
I know I'm late to the game but… All of this over a freeken chair! When the whole thing could've been avoided if she would have moved! Honor, respect, & all these emotionally charged words-because someone wouldn't move over! Are you serious! So much could have gone wrong/been lost in that one moment-even a life,-and I just ask one question-would it have been worth it? My son is almost a teen, so conversations about altercations have and will come up. To my son, whom I love, protect, and am raising to be a MAN, this is what I do/will tell him: *In a physical altercation you always loose something-it doesn't matter who started it or if you actually win the fight. You could get suspended, arrested, hurt, or even lose your life. So if you feel you got to throw down, you better be sure what you gain is worth the price of what you may lose. *Self perseveration is the first rule of survival. Period. This is survival of you, your family, and anyone who is worth the possible cost. If you REALLY FEEL THREATENED and must preemptive strike, do what you must. *Be wary of people who put you in situations where their mouth or actions ignite an altercation for no good reason. These people are playing with YOUR life-STAY AWAY FROM THEM. The possible cost (getting, hurt, your life, etc.) over some words, pride, or rep is just plain stupid. I know this is advice & you would give to your son too. |
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On April 12, 2010, 2:55 pm curiousJ says:
I know I'm late to the game but… All of this over a freeken chair! When the whole thing could've been avoided if she would have moved! Honor, respect, & all these emotionally charged words-because someone wouldn't move over! Are you serious! So much could have gone wrong/been lost in that one moment-even a life,-and I just ask one question-would it have been worth it? My son is almost a teen, so conversations about altercations have and will come up. To my son, whom I love, protect, and am raising to be a MAN, this is what I do/will tell him: *In a physical altercation you always loose something-it doesn't matter who started it or if you actually win the fight. You could get suspended, arrested, hurt, or even lose your life. So if you feel you got to throw down, you better be sure what you gain is worth the price of what you may lose. *Self perseveration is the first rule of survival. Period. This is survival of you, your family, and anyone who is worth the possible cost. If you REALLY FEEL THREATENED and must preemptive strike, do what you must. *Be wary of people who put you in situations where their mouth or actions ignite an altercation for no good reason. These people are playing with YOUR life-STAY AWAY FROM THEM. The possible cost (getting, hurt, your life, etc.) over some words, pride, or rep is just plain stupid. |
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On April 12, 2010, 2:56 pm curiousJ says:
I know I'm late to the game but… |
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On April 12, 2010, 2:57 pm curiousJ says:
I know I'm late to the game but… |
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On April 12, 2010, 3:00 pm curiousJ says:
I know I'm late to the game but… |
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On April 12, 2010, 3:02 pm curiousJ says:
I know I'm late to the game but… |
