I am a breast cancer survivor. And a single girl. Not the best match. But it is what it is. Physically, I'm doing well and feeling great. But my goodness... dating is crazy these days.  Taking the advice of a few friends, I decided that now that I feel up to dating again, I'd start with internet dating. Just to meet some new people.

Sigh. Here we go:

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I've been home recuperating from my reconstruction for a bit. The internet has been my way of exploring the world from the comfort of home. After a few (and I mean just a few) dates last year, I decided that I needed to be a bit more proactive about meeting guys. I needed a strategy and I needed to implement that plan. So, I decided to open my mind and revisit internet dating.

Um. Yeah. (confused face) Madness.

So, the cool thing about internet dating is that you can look at the pictures from the comfort of your home and decide quickly whether or not someone interests you. Its easy. And the instant gratification that comes when they respond to you is a good feeling. Unless the person who reaches out to you is a bit... well, different... from your normal interests.

First example of... not quite right. Attractive guy, close to my age, in my metropolitan area... seems cool on screen. I looked at his picture when it came up in the rotation -- didn't comment or anything but thought to myself that he wasn't hard on the eyes. He was rather cute actually. But for some reason, I had a gut feeling that he wouldn't be feeling me. (This was shortly after my surgery and I was feeling a bit unpretty and very much like damaged goods) I thought it was a good sign when he tagged me to chat and wanted to get to know me.

After we got past the name introductions, he tells me... "I like women who have your look".

(What does that mean?)

I asked him if he meant that he liked women with short haircuts. He responded that no, that wasn't what he meant. He meant that I looked "open" and he liked women who were open.

Wait... what?

Again, not understanding what this dude is saying... I asked him what he meant by open. His response... "a woman who looks open to men and women".

Now... I am very straight. But I do like women (in the most platonic sense of the word like)  I strongly believe in the power of friendship between women. I am very big on building relationships between women (friendships and business relationships) and I believe that quality friendships can enrich your life in multiple ways.  So, occassionally, someone will mistake my appreciation for "girl-power" for a sexual interest. I am not confused nor ambiguous about what I like. 

However, I'm not naive... I didn't think that this dude meant he could see in my shining smile that I liked linking good people with good people. He wanted to see something else there. Surprised me really. I never spoke to anyone who thought that I looked bisexual. It was a shocker to me.

I responded... "just to clarify, I'm very heterosexual and I'm cool with that" and he responded "great". He then procedes to tell me that women who are very open are cool with him because he's very open.

Ruh roh. (Scooby doo voice)  Spidey senses are going off and I can practically see fireworks behind my eyelids... (sigh) Exactly what is this guy trying to tell me?

Me:  "what do you mean by that?"

Him: well... I like to have bj's by white guys.

Me:  blink blink - dead silence.

Me:  silent

Me:  silent

Me:  okay... what exactly do you mean?

Him: I like to have white men service me with oral sex (okay, that's not exactly what he said but I'm trying to clean it up since this is the internet)

Me: (thinking... what in the holy h*ll have I stumbled into?)

Me:  Oh really? Well, that's um, interesting.

Him:  yeah, I think its pretty cool. I like it a lot.

Me:  so... do you identify as gay or bisexual or what exactly?

Him:  oh no. I'm straight. I'm here looking for a long-term relationship with a woman.

Me:  blink blink - dead silence

Me:  sigh. How's that?

Him:  well, I don't have sex with men and I'm not attracted to them in any way but I like the power I feel when they want me and want to service me that way.