I'm willing to work, talk, negotiate on tons of issues in a relationship, but if I strongly feel that anuuugnugga (ghetto for another nugga)...lol, is in the mix/picture, I'm out with a haste and without confirmation. 

What I also look at is what particulars, as in issues that I am having with this sista, is something that I am unlikey to encounter in other relationships.  I will ask myself, to what extent are the issues that I'm facing, and if I walk away, will I likely face the same or worse with other women.

I'm willing to work, talk, negotiate on tons of issues in a relationship, but if I strongly feel that anuuugnugga (ghetto for another nugga)...lol, is in the mix/picture, I'm out with a haste and without confirmation. 

What I also look at is what particulars, as in issues that I am having with this sista, is something that I am unlikey to encounter in other relationships.  I will ask myself, to what extent are the issues that I'm facing, and if I walk away, will I likely face the same or worse with other women.

I will say that I have come across "issues" with many sistas that I easily do without... that has to be things with her that overshadows my already good situation.

I know this sound really petty but he cant have any friends of the opposite sex. He cant say hes working late w/o showing his check stubs to make sure the time he's saying he is working is matching up with money he is bringing home. The house responsibilities have to be split 50/50. He must do his share. If I work and come home and clean, I expect the same from him. I have sooooo many things that would make me leave thats why I will never live with a man that isnt my husband, I never have and I never will. My boyfriend used to have condom wrappers on the floor. I just wanted to scream but I had to remember it wasnt my house. If I would buy him food, he would leave it in his room all nite and eat it the next day. I just want someone to follow my rules w/o them having any for me.

Being stupid is a BIG deal breaker.  This is not about possessing a degree, but a person who lacks critical thinking skills, someone who is just simple and foolish, that I cannot abide.  I'd rather date ugly than stupid.

I'd put fat in there, although if my husband had a legitimate medical reason for excess weight gain (beyond the boo weight everyone gets) I wouldn't leave.  But that's only for a husband.

I don't like men who are rude, or nasty and can't keep a house.  And a man that will not move beyond patriarchal BS (ie women barefoot and pregnant inthe kitchen) will not pass go or collect $200.

Oh, and no immoral people with major character flaws (lying, stealing, etc.)

@ loveless:

Salaried men don't get overtime, so that paycheck thing don't work.  And you can transfer office calls to a cell phone as long as both have the same area code.

@Just thanks for the FYI. I guess it wouldnt matter then. lol


Well my husband lied so much, he makes it hard for me to trust any man. I was thinking some of the things that I would've done back then, not now. You are right because since he owned his own business and stayed away from home, more than he was there, I guess he didnt have a check stub. oh well.  I got that off Madea. lol

I once was told prior to moving in with a BF, "the little things that bother you about him" now, just become " the big things that bother you about him."  With that info, I spent a final weekend at his place and addressed ALL THE LIL THINGS with him. He laughed and so did I.  He was willing to accept and hav me help him to get and keep his house in order.  I moved in 3 months later, we stayed together for 4 years, became parents for the first time together and eventually grew apart.  In this relationship the deal breaker was his inability to commit to me as I had to him.  Lies and deceit, lack of communication is a absolute dealbreaker and since I love HARD, its always a heartbreak as well.

I once was told prior to moving in with a BF, "the little things that bother you about him" now, just become " the big things that bother you about him."  With that info, I spent a final weekend at his place and addressed ALL THE LIL THINGS with him. He laughed and so did I.  He was willing to accept and hav me help him to get and keep his house in order.  I moved in 3 months later, we stayed together for 4 years, became parents for the first time together and eventually grew apart.  In this relationship the deal breaker was his inability to commit to me as I had to him.  Lies and deceit, lack of communication is a absolute dealbreaker and since I love HARD, its always a heartbreak as well.

I once was told prior to moving in with a BF, "the little things that bother you about him" now, just become " the big things that bother you about him."  With that info, I spent a final weekend at his place and addressed ALL THE LIL THINGS with him. He laughed and so did I.  He was willing to accept and hav me help him to get and keep his house in order.  I moved in 3 months later, we stayed together for 4 years, became parents for the first time together and eventually grew apart.  In this relationship the deal breaker was his inability to commit to me as I had to him.  Lies and deceit, lack of communication is a absolute dealbreaker and since I love HARD, its always a heartbreak as well.

I'ts time for her or me to move out and live alone. Dont know what else to say but it was fun until we moned in together. both people in this relationship stop doing what made the other happy and the relationship work.