Flagler Hill - Love and Relationships
March 10th 2010 09:24 PM
Should two people have sex before the official split.
by loveless
Category Dating
Posted February 1, 2010, 11:32 am
I was asked this question and I dont think anything is wrong with it. If two mature adults can handle being together intimately knowing this is the final goodbye then I'm all for it. This really needs to be discussed at length so both participants involved dont feel they are being shortchanged. Hopefully one does not think because of this last rendezvous things will change. I can see why this scenerio could complicate things but you have to have the mind set to say THIS IS IT.
Plies Lyrics in his song says "I'm tired of your cheating and I'm tired of your lies but before you go can we F*** one more time" I think most people would just want to leave well enough alone. I on the other hand would want to end the relationship on a GREAT note. I can be with someone and put my feelings on the back burner for awhile. The problem is when those feelings come rushing back.
 
On February 1, 2010, 12:02 pm Wood says:
I remember this one tall, fine, sexy butter-milk complexion sista I met years ago.  I mean this girl was what I call... "as fine as they come", meaning in room of fine sexy sistas, she would be right in the mist of them.  She basically told me that she wanted to see me, but she told me for only two or three months... I think I was her "winter boo"...lol.  I had plans of my own though, and I wanted to pull one good one out of my hat with her.

I hooked her really good and we had a two years intense love affair that ended when she gave me an ultimatum of commiting to her or she was out... I had to turn that fine, but crazy sista down.  Man, did she had some extremely good loving, with a silk soft and smooth body that cloths did absolutely no justice to.

When she cut me off, she cut me off completely, no talking, loving, etc...nothing.  Just "hi", I'm fine, anything else?...take care.  No booty calls on that one.

Loveless, nothing is wrong with that, but don't get hooked...
 
On February 1, 2010, 12:05 pm MassAppeal says:
@loveless that's a wild question. Thinking you can just walk away with one last rendezvous before officially splitting with someone is like playing russian roulette. You never what type of old feelings may arise back up but knowing that may be the final time  ever for you two would definitely result in one good final love making session. But we all know women are too emotional for that and would probably break down crying and start throwing things in the middle of the session.
 
On February 1, 2010, 12:22 pm Wood says:
Hey Mass, I would have a little of this playing in the background...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUE5phjXXrQ


while looking in her eyes, kissing her and telling her how much I miss her and wishing we were a couple.  Heck, I might pull the big one out the hat... the tearful "I love you" while in the middle of knocking the bottom out of it.

I'd re-hook her...

then after a year or two, I'd go back to the ways that caused up to break-up the first time...lol.

First you go for the achilles heel... hope and emotions.
 
On February 1, 2010, 1:11 pm MassAppeal says:
@Wood- Whats up with you and all these love song links today?..lo.l..Just saying are you feeling a little sentimental today bruh? For the record I would go with "After the Love is Gone" by Earth, Wind and Fire during my last love making session.
 
On February 1, 2010, 1:15 pm MassAppeal says:
@Wood- Whats up with you and all these love song links today?..lo.l..Just saying are you feeling a little sentimental today bruh? For the record I would go with "After the Love is Gone" by Earth, Wind and Fire during my last love making session.
 
On February 1, 2010, 1:49 pm Wood says:
LOL, I'm a big-time EW and Fire fan and when I was going through some of the romantic issue IntroSpec and MSCBN are going through with their relationship issues, those songs where sure soothing and keep my head up when I was feeling down.

Naw, I'm feeling ok, but I do listen to them damn near everyday.
 
On February 1, 2010, 2:48 pm Dashon says:
LOL@Wood being sentimental & caring today.  I aint mad 'atcha! (Smile)

@Loveless:  I guess the question that I have is: WHY?  It only prolongs the inevitable, and for the person being broke up with -- it can be a source of false hope.  Personally, I wouldn't do it...but hey, as my boy Old Soul would say: To thy ownself be true.
 
On February 1, 2010, 4:03 pm BlackSwan says:
@loveless

The problem is when those feelings come rushing back

that should be the base of thought when your looking for the right answer to "Should I, or shouldn't I?" If you know in your heart that you nolonger want to be with this person, why would you want to share something so intimate with that person? There must be a really good reason why you want to split right. Plus, if you go ahead with it, it might not be the last time; there could be many last times for the two of you if you think that way. It's best to just let it go and don't look back. That's just my opinion, but you can make the healthiest choice for yourself (^__^)Y  It's all in how you decide to handle your business.
 
On February 1, 2010, 4:27 pm loveless says:
@BlackSwan there are many reasons why a person would or should break-up. What if you are on a cruise and met someone special but the next day you were leaving and probaly never see him or her again. Thats reason #!, What if he was going to the military and he didnt want to be in a long term relationship #2, What if you guys just couldnt handle being together anymore and you realized it was just time to depart. #3. there are other reasons too. Sometimes I say goodbye two or three times. It just my way of saying I loved being with you but I gotta go.
 
On February 1, 2010, 4:54 pm BlackSwan says:
@loveless

What if you are on a cruise and met someone special but the next day you were leaving and probaly never see him or her again.

That just sound like a horny situation, lol. If they want to hit it and quit it, that's there business. At the same time though, there's technology - I'm sure you can swap digits or something

What if he was going to the military and he didnt want to be in a long term relationship

that's understandable. You don't know if that person will ever come back. That doesn't necessarily mean that its goodbye; what will you do when they return

What if you guys just couldnt handle being together anymore and you realized it was just time to depart

The answer is "don't do it". Like I said before, if you can't stand being with this person, why are you having sex with them. Cut them loose. You used plies lyrics "I'm tired of your cheating and I'm tired of your lies but before you go can we F*** one more time" - this is a means to no end. lets say this person did "cheat" and "lie" to you. Do you want to be labled the person begging for sex? just sayin.

there are other reasons too
Thats right. there are many reason's for breaking up with someone and severing ties, good and bad. Yet, sometimes it isn't the right reason to commit yourelf to that person if you're saying "I feel nothing, and care nothing for this person b/c they did XYZ to me, but please, lets just go at it one more time and that's it." To me and for me, that can't work, and that's jus my opinion.
You just do what feels right to you in the midst of whatever situation you're going thru k.

much love
 
On February 1, 2010, 5:03 pm Blaze says:
@BlackSwan

Are you saying you never had sex with an ex or an old boyfriend after a break up? I think what loveless is trying to say all break ups aren't due to negative reasoning but some people can seperate the emotions from a sexual act.
 
On February 1, 2010, 10:21 pm IntroSpectiv says:
If I'm breaking up with a woman, I don't think sex with her is going to be on my mind.

Hell, we're breaking up....so sex shouldn't be an option anyway.

I'd just let her go and move on. Fuck her.....
 
On February 1, 2010, 10:21 pm IntroSpectiv says:
If I'm breaking up with a woman, I don't think sex with her is going to be on my mind.

Hell, we're breaking up....so sex shouldn't be an option anyway.

I'd just let her go and move on. Fuck her.....
 
On February 1, 2010, 11:30 pm BlackSwan says:
@ Intro Thankyou; that is exactly my point.

@ Blaze why on earth would I go back and have sex with someone I broke up with. Only a spineless asshole would do such a thing. There's no way in hell that I would ever go back and BEG an ex to have sex with me.
If your girl went back every now and again to have sex with her ex, how would that make you feel? And if my boyfriend even gave a thought of doing such a thing, I'm fuckin him up. Maybe you need to go back and read my comments again

some people can seperate the emotions from a sexual act.

Tell me how you can seperate your emotions from the person you were just dealing wit. Their not just some sort of FB; you know them on a seriously personal level. If that's how you see your girlfriend, wife or whatever you want to call the girl your having a commited relationship with, I feel sorry for her.

you're making me snap for no damn reason man
 
On February 1, 2010, 11:56 pm BlackSwan says:
@ loveless

I'm sorry but from the way I see it, if you're going to sleep with this person one last time and possibly continue to do so, you're not ready to end the relationship at that point

If you're gonna say its over, make sure you mean it, rather than having the relationship linger on sex. To me personally, it's not worth the emotional stress. Yet, given the circumstances you described earlier, each one has its own outcome and not every scenario can be resolved with the same answer as I described. It's all in how you deal with it.

If you feel that you can tough it out and handle a break up that way, that's you simple and plain. I however, cannot see or imagine myself doing that.
 
On February 2, 2010, 12:45 am Melanie says:
Funny - I've had this convo before. We use to say that if we decided to end it, we would be sure to have one last all day session. I thought it was a running joke, but when I told him I'm done... he tried to cash in... smh - lol. Nah bruh, I'll pass. 
 
On February 2, 2010, 6:06 am loveless says:
@BlackSwan My last Point. NO ONE IS BEGGING, ITS A MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING. I understand how you feel. Its not that serious to call a person spinless A.H. Its OK lol

@Intro Its just a discussion, its easier to say F*** HER and move on but I did say in the first paragragh that its going to take two very mature adults to handle this kind of situation.

To every one that read my posts please stop sounding so angry. I just post things that I see, hear or do or wouldnt do lol. But yeah I could handle one last rendezvouz. Thats just me. I would never call someone weak or spineless or gutless because they wont do what I will. Our indifference just makes up for a better discussion.
 
On February 2, 2010, 8:03 am Blaze says:
@Blackswan

I respect your view and like loveless stated its our different views tat make up for a better discussion. With that said, I have and would hook with a few ex's after the fact but that doesn't make me a spineless asshole and it would be a mutual understanding. No begging here sometimes the sex was just that good. Feelings come and go. Some people can be sexual attractive to each other without feelings and emotions involved regardless if the two were previously in a relationship or not. To some people every relationship that don't work out doesn't have to be all or nothing.

I also took loveless' question as a generlization and not if you were currently in a relationship.
 
On February 2, 2010, 9:33 pm JustAThought says:
Boyfriends get non love post breakup.  That is what your go-to fix it man is for.  If you don't want to be with me, you don't want to be with me - in any capacity.  I have not had an "official" last session.  The last time just happened to be the last time.  Two have tried to do that "let's do this one last time" thing, but once we're done, I need him to not exist. 
 
On February 2, 2010, 9:33 pm JustAThought says:
Boyfriends get non love post breakup.  That is what your go-to fix it man is for.  If you don't want to be with me, you don't want to be with me - in any capacity.  I have not had an "official" last session.  The last time just happened to be the last time.  Two have tried to do that "let's do this one last time" thing, but once we're done, I need him to not exist. 
 
On February 2, 2010, 9:33 pm JustAThought says:
Boyfriends get non love post breakup.  That is what your go-to fix it man is for.  If you don't want to be with me, you don't want to be with me - in any capacity.  I have not had an "official" last session.  The last time just happened to be the last time.  Two have tried to do that "let's do this one last time" thing, but once we're done, I need him to not exist. 
 
On February 2, 2010, 9:47 pm IntroSpectiv says:
@ loveless

Excuse me for sounding angry in my post....my anger has nothing to do with you. It just shows up from time to time when I post. lol

I was just trying to say that if my relationship is on the skids with a woman, I am not going to be inclined to do anything sexual with her.
 
On February 12, 2010, 4:49 am crucial63 says:
The mature answer is if your breaking up I think the couple should have more important issues on theirs minds. Sex is such a small part of a relationship, it's important but small. To me HELL NO at that point I want her as far away from me as she can be and not in my bed.
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