Move on like it never happened unless he had a minus next to his name. I thought you were talking about a killing hit list. I was confused for a minute. But so what if she bumped a couple of guys off in the past. Im sure he had his fair share too. Count it as a loss and charge it to the game, They are starting off fresh, why complicate things with old drama.

All of this sounds juvenile to me. I can't see myself marrying a woman that had a slam book of guys....whether she was planning on killing them or whatever it was. She's obviously stuck on a past that had nothing to do with me, so I will help her stay there and get her out of MY present and future.

This sounds like something from that movie Mean Girls....lol

@Red Alert:  I think they should talk about it.  If he moves forward with all these questions...they won't go away over time.  They'll just marinate until the next argument or disagreement and come up at that time.  Its one of those things that if not addressed now...will surely be addressed later.  The difference?  It will be done in the heat of a moment...not exactly the best time for some open & honest dialogue...nor an open mind about the answers he gets.

During some un-packing he finds an album of pictures with various with half dressed guys posing. He con fronts her about it and she claims they were all just friends and nothing serious.  Personally, I would have addressed this with one question... "were you sexing any one of them"?  This answer would lend credence as to her likehood that she was probably out there sexing.  He will have to make his own decision based on his personal situation, but I couldn't get down with a marriage to a sista who is out there  banging men who "were just friend and it was nothing serious".  I would wonder what she would do years later with plenty of tough times ahead, or she is out of town with her friends or for business.

He should ask her what he is really feeling... were you f.cking these men at anytime during our relationship... Yes or No.  What would he do if she denies or refutes his questions.  She is more than likely to blow it off as them being "friends" or whatever.  I think your boy would not believe her if she says it was nothing, and he would be super pissed off if she indicate she was/are sexing them.  If neither answer would satisfy him, he can just break down the relationship and start over.
If I was feeling the way he is feeling, whether I'm right or wrong, I would not marry her.  I definitely wouldn't try to continue with a marriage having such sour sentiments regarding the sexual behavior of my potential wife.

I'm a firm believer that a peace of mine is much better than striving to get the absolute truth.

@Red I agree with Dashon. They're talking about a life-long committment. No stone should be left unturned before they walk down the isle. All cards should be on the table. Just because he didn't know she was having "conversation" with these dudes as it was happening, doesn't mean that he shouldn't get the opportunity to understand the situation for what it was. It's not like he will be able to "agrue" that she should have done this or that - he blew that with his infidelity, but he does need to understand who he plans to spend the rest of his life with. The fact that she was able to keep numerous relationships secret for 10 years means she's really good at deception or that he was sooo busy doing his dirt that he didn't pay see the red flags. Either way as a man I would want to know how I missed "all those dudes" in her life. So much could be discovered from the convo...

What if she feels that she has to have that much attention in order to feel happy? Is he going to be able to give her the attention of several men? And I'm not even talking sex, since she said that never happened. However, if the dudes were sending chest pics, there was most likely some type of sexual convo going on.

At a minimum, he needs to ask himself one of those worst case scenario questions... As her husband, will I be able to honor my "better or worse" vows if she has friendships with dudes and they send her a random chest picture here and there.

It's about him being able to accept her for who she is, but it's clear that he doesn't know her. And no you will never know everything about a person, but I say learn as much as you can.

@Wood "I'm a firm believer that a peace of mine is much better than striving to get the absolute truth." ~ absolutely, absolute truth is for the man that sees all and we will never be in that position.

Hello Melanie how are you doing sista girl?

... don't mind me, I'm just acting up again...lol.

@Red

I would have to agree with Dashon and Melanie by telling your boy he needs to sit down and have a talk with his girl. It sounds as if there's a lot of resentment on both sides and I would even question if they're only getting married because they may feel after 10 years it would appear to be the right thing to do. But 10 years is a long time to be holding on to some random pics of these dudes with math equations behind each name..you feel me. I'm with Wood on this, I bet she was sexing these cats up because I think the emotional ties were severed at some point in the last 10 years. If it's not discussed soon, it would be a lot of wasted good loot on a wedding.  

@Dashon, Wood, Melanie, MassAppeal

Thanks for all the great advice I would say you all have summed it up! He needs to address the situation ASAP! And hope for the best. Me personally I feel that if you did all that dirt and believe me I was there when he was doing most of it...LOL it was bound to come back on him so I guess he can't cry about it now. When you neglected a relationship for so long it's bound to happened.

Me personally I feel that if you did all that dirt and believe me I was there when he was doing most of it...LOL it was bound to come back on him so I guess he can't cry about it now. When you neglected a relationship for so long it's bound to happened.

I feel that when it comes to something as serious as marriage, I feel each individual have the right to utilize as their reference point what they want, and not what they have done or didn't do during their time. 

I don't buy into this... I did this, done that, so therefore I can't expect of her this or that because of what I've done... Bullshit.

I can ask or utilize whatever criteria I want if I'm to marry, without regards to what I've done.  As far as I'm concern, it is something I don't really have to do, but if I'm going to do it, you can bet your sweet behind I am going to get what it takes for me to do it.

She need to come up with her own criterias in her man.