September 9th 2010
Turn off your Cell
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by Trubutee on July 19, 2010, 10:08 pm in Dating
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12 comments |
I went out with a guy on Saturday evening. I thought he was nice, smart, and funny. I met him through a male friend. I've known him about 2 or 3 months. I have only been around him in a group situations. I kind kept putting him off on the date, because I felt he was rushing it. But, after his ploy of how much fun we'd have, I agreed.
He picked me up about 6p and we were off. As soon as I got in the car his cell was ringing. I was going to let 1 or 2 calls go, but the whole evening, he spent more time on his cell, than talking to me. He apologized each time, but still how rude?? I was so ready to go!! Which is why I prefer to meet a guy, in my own car, so I can leave if the date is not going well.
I never got through a full sentence or two with out him stopping to get his cell. It was pretty bad. I understand he has his own business and a lot of time goes into it. But, really on a date you can't turn your cell off for a few hours. I felt the cell calls were a bad 1st impression.
Then he told our friend the date went well and he'd like to take me out again. I think Not......He really enjoyed my company. How could he enjoy my company, when he was on the damn phone over half the night. He couldn't even place his order at dinner, because he was on the phone.The waiter had to wait for his call to end. Most the calls were BS calls about much of nothing.
I did not find to cute at all. I don't want to go any place with him again. I hope he does not call me, because I will just have to be blunt and tell him why. I think our friend was going to mention the cell thing to him. How could he not realize he was on the phone so much? A real date deal breaker...
Do we live in the age where cell phones are glued to our ear, and we think it's totally ok to do so. It bugs me in church, banks, stores, almost any where, you have to hear these annoying ring tones, and very loud conversations.
Some have told me I'm too touchy and over reacting, that cell calls are part of life now.... I'm not buying that..
He picked me up about 6p and we were off. As soon as I got in the car his cell was ringing. I was going to let 1 or 2 calls go, but the whole evening, he spent more time on his cell, than talking to me. He apologized each time, but still how rude?? I was so ready to go!! Which is why I prefer to meet a guy, in my own car, so I can leave if the date is not going well.
I never got through a full sentence or two with out him stopping to get his cell. It was pretty bad. I understand he has his own business and a lot of time goes into it. But, really on a date you can't turn your cell off for a few hours. I felt the cell calls were a bad 1st impression.
Then he told our friend the date went well and he'd like to take me out again. I think Not......He really enjoyed my company. How could he enjoy my company, when he was on the damn phone over half the night. He couldn't even place his order at dinner, because he was on the phone.The waiter had to wait for his call to end. Most the calls were BS calls about much of nothing.
I did not find to cute at all. I don't want to go any place with him again. I hope he does not call me, because I will just have to be blunt and tell him why. I think our friend was going to mention the cell thing to him. How could he not realize he was on the phone so much? A real date deal breaker...
Do we live in the age where cell phones are glued to our ear, and we think it's totally ok to do so. It bugs me in church, banks, stores, almost any where, you have to hear these annoying ring tones, and very loud conversations.
Some have told me I'm too touchy and over reacting, that cell calls are part of life now.... I'm not buying that..
Join the conversation, add your comment12 MEMBER COMMENT(S)
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On July 19, 2010, 10:43 pm crucial63 says:
Do we live in the age where cell phones are glued to our ear, and we think it's totally ok to do so. It bugs me in church, banks, stores, almost any where, you have to hear these annoying ring tones, and very loud conversations. Honestly we do live in that age. I make my kids leave their cell phones in the car when we go out to dinner and they can't bring them to the dinner table at home either.
What you have described is normal in this day and age I'm not saying it's right but people live and die by their phones. Would you have rather he turn it off and or on vibrate and ignore it? As you may have thought he wasn't answering it for other reason's. On a date I usually put mine on vibrate and don't answer it as I do agree you need to pay attention to the person your on the date with. I went out with a woman who everyone in her phone address book called her while we were on a date and she talked to them kept giving me the wait a min finger. I learned alot about her that night as I don't ever want to be involved with someone who loves an electronic device that much. Your not too touchy on the subject at all, only thing is maybe you should have told him about it during the date if nothing else to see how he would have handled the situation. I agree with you that he was dead wrong!!!!!!!!!!! |
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On July 19, 2010, 10:44 pm Trubutee says:
Wo,.... your stories are never too long and very interesting. I have not heard from him as of yet. I think I did say, that he was talking on the cell more than to me. But, he did not catch the hint.
I do think he is a nice guy and even in the group situations, he seems to keep that cell to his ear. But, I will tell him if the time arises, that he was not very attentive on the date and to turn the cell off. I really learned nothing about him on this date. lol. I hope you get to take this young lady out. I agree some times things are not what the seem and a 2nd chance is warranted. Thanks for your input. |
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On July 19, 2010, 10:51 pm Trubutee says:
Crucial... I hate that "wait a minute finger." I got that a few times too. I do hope to tell him that I was very put off by it. Our other friend tried to make the excuse, that maybe he did not realize how much he was on the cell. He may not have, becuase he thinks that is normal behavior.
I might just call him and bring this up. I'm sure he won't mind the call. LOL. |
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On July 19, 2010, 11:35 pm crucial63 says:
Please share how that works out as I think he knows as some people think it makes them seem important and or popular!!!!!
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On July 20, 2010, 8:07 pm Dashon says:
Trub: You are not tripping. Dude was rude, and I think I would have addressed it more directly. I might have said something like, "Looks like this is not a good time for you...would you mind taking me home now?"
If he was really interested in getting to know me, he would modify the behavior & shut down the phone chat, if he wasn't...he would have taken me home. Either way I would known where this dude was coming from. Not sure I would give it a second chance...but don't go by me....my tolerance level for BS is not that high. If he was that rude at a time (1st date) when most folks try to be on their best behavior...then what could I expect if we continued to see each other? Just my 2.5 |
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On July 21, 2010, 3:52 pm Wood says:
That would get on my nerve, and when I do encounter sistas who interupt our conversation by always answering their phone, I never revisted the subject that got interupted. I do this with my cell phone happy girl... you can answer if you want, but don't trying to remind me where we left off... I lost my train of thought, and I'm not trying to find it either...lol.
I will give one or maybe two interuptions, but after that, I've lost interest in talking. I will not go out on another date if a sista feel that she has to keep answering her phone. If I call you on your job, and it is required of you to do your duties, that is one thing, but because your GF call just to see what you are up to, I'm out. I'm 46, so I remember a time where there were no cell phone to interupt dinner, conversation or a date... and folks lived another day, so no one can tell me that they "have" to answer a bunch of calls. I find it amazing who many of these folks who feel that they have to keep checking their phone every ten seconds while out in the club, movies, etc... it is the damnest thing I've ever seen. You see them constantly looking and checking their phones like they can't function without doing so. I can't imagine me allowing such trivial nonsense get so ingrained into my head or mentality. |
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On July 21, 2010, 4:09 pm Trubutee says:
Wood...I feel the same way. I just bugged me and I felt very ignored. i had to keep myself from slapping that cell out of his hand. I wanted to call him and just tell him he was the date from hell and how rude that was. The only thing I got out of this date was a free meal. lol
He did text me and say he hope I had a good time. I replied, that it could have been better and I did want to talk to him. So, he texted back to call him anytime. I have not called yet. I think he knows I was not pleased with his behavior. But I dod wnat to tell him, if not for our friendship, for his future ones. |
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On July 24, 2010, 7:12 pm Wood says:
I feel you. I have to make a "comment" to my girl because of a few cell phone protocals I was having an issue with. One, when I'm talking to her while she is driving in her car, I don't expect to hear her girls yapping in the background just as clear as my girl is coming across. Two, I drive a manual transmission car, so I have a bluetooth device that I use when talking on my phone. I'm not a big time talker, but when I'm on the phone, I expect to be the only person in that car talking on their phone.
When I was a youngin, I knew my "place" amongst grown folks, that has been lost with these younger folks... talking while they were on the phone was not a good idea. |
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On July 26, 2010, 9:02 am Globaldiva says:
You are not hat your friends say you are. After his second or third apology you should have told him that he wasn't sorry or else he would take the necessary steps to remedy the situation: TURN THE CELL PHONE OFF!
I hope you ordered one of the most expensive dishes on the menu to make him truly sorry. Since he wasn't interested in entertaining you, you should have gotten some really entertaining (to your taste buds) food. |
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On July 26, 2010, 9:02 am Globaldiva says:
You are not what your friends say you are. After his second or third apology you should have told him that he wasn't sorry or else he would take the necessary steps to remedy the situation: TURN THE CELL PHONE OFF!
I hope you ordered one of the most expensive dishes on the menu to make him truly sorry. Since he wasn't interested in entertaining you, you should have gotten some really entertaining (to your taste buds) food. |
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On July 26, 2010, 9:03 am Globaldiva says:
You are not what your friends say you are. After his second or third apology you should have told him that he wasn't sorry or else he would take the necessary steps to remedy the situation: TURN THE CELL PHONE OFF!
I hope you ordered one of the most expensive dishes on the menu to make him truly sorry. Since he wasn't interested in entertaining you, you should have gotten some really entertaining (to your taste buds) food. |
Did you at least mention that it was something that was bothering you? While I'm not a big proponent of placing too much weight on first impressions, rudeness is one of those exceptions for me.
I hope that he does call you, so that you can let him know in a respectful way that you felt he was on the phone entirely too much and you felt it was rude. See what he says, and perhaps give him another chance.
I had a somewhat similar, (but not really) situation where this Friday a woman felt I was being rude or playing games with her. Long story short (yes I can make stories brief, lol) she hit me up on Friday because she was free from her studies and wanted to do something. I had already told her we could go out Sat, (1st date) and I had tentative plans (with my lil friend). I told her we may be able to meet up late, like 11ish, if she wanted to go out (she likes to dance) but really Saturday would be better.
She hits me with a text talmbout she was at some spot, and to pick her up from there (huh?). I text I was at the movies. Next day, I text her trying to find out if she could still meet up, she was talmbout I stood her up and I should "lose her number." I text her back saying our plans were tentative. She said I was rude and playing games.
Would I like to go out with her, sure. But that situation is out of my hands.