July 29th 2010
Right Now...No Man Deserves My All....Therefore I'm Weighing My Options!
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by SingleDame on October 20, 2009, 9:04 pm in Dating
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20 comments |
WHY IN THE FUCK WOULD I PUT MY ALL INTO ONE MAN RIGHT NOW???????????????? Been
there, done that, bought the t-shirt and the matching thong! ON TO THE NEXT
OPTION WHICH IS.......Weighing my options.
One of my lovely & beautiful blog readers has been "complaining" about this man she is damn near infatuated with. The man told her ass either directly or indirectly, that he is WEIGHING HIS OPTIONS. She has a HUGE problem with it, and says that it plays with peoples hearts.
Hmmmm, at first sight this sounds true. BUT, if a man is being honest with you, as a woman you MUST LISTEN TO EVERY DAMN WORD HE IS SHARING WITH YOU. Indeed his actions may be screaming something different, YET often men SPEAK THE TRUTH and WOMEN REFUSE TO LISTEN.
If a man is stating that he is WEIGHING HIS OPTIONS, this can be CODE for a few different things. Here are a few:
1. "I'm not ready to settle down, I want my cake and eat it too, I'm trying to tell you as nice as possible without coming across as a complete asshole that DAMNIT I WANT TO FUCK YOU, HER, AND Yo Mommas Bestfriend! But please don't take it personal"
2. "I'm ALMOST ready to settle down, yet I really don't know what kind of woman I want. I think you might be her, yet I feel as though I need to meet other women to CONFIRM that I really want YOU. It's nothing personal, yet I don't want to tell you right now that I want to be with you, when it may not be true. I don't want to hurt your feelings and put us in a situation where we can both get our hearts broken."
3. "Ummm, I'm really not feelin you. I hope you catch the hint!"
Now many of you ladies may be wondering, "Well if this is what the fuck he means by WEIGHING HIS OPTIONS why in the fuck won't he just tell me exactly this instead of having me trying to guess what the fuck he really means?"
And my answer to you ladies is quite simple. If a man were to tell most women (and all the women I know personally) Either # 1 , #2 ,or #3 from above, most women would react as one or all of the following:
1. "Well if you want to be with me, you can ONLY be with me! I'm not gone be takin yo shit. Don't be playing with my damn emotions."
2. "I Love you! Don't you love me baby? Don't you want to fall in Love? I am the woman for you, just trust me. PLEASE don't be with those other women ***Tears flooding her damn face****"
3. "Well, I understand that I may or may not be the woman for you, but I'm gone give you 7 days to figure shit out. If you don't know in 7days if you want to be with me or not, then I'm gone. I can't be waitin around for ya ass!"
4."FUCK YOU N**** I don't need you or your shit!!!! WHAT YOU THINK I'M SOME KINDA HO OR SOMTHIN????? So that's how you gone treat me? Like some kinda ho?"
5. "I'm calling your mom! How could you say somthing like this?"
6. "So does this mean you don't really want to be with me? Is it my hair? You don't think I'm pretty enough? Am I too Fat?"
7. ".....hell nall that wasn't me who bust the windows out your car!" ****Fingers crossed behind back****
Basically, most women would have some emotional filled response that many brothas just don't feel like hearing and experiencing! They don't feel like hearing the attitude or having to grab tissue because some woman is crying uncontrollably because she can't control her damn emotions!!!
Now, it is MY BELIEF that if a man could tell a woman his IN DEPTH TRUTH regarding why he is weighing his options at the moment, then more men would be more OPEN with women. Men have come so accustomed to having to lie/fabricate the truth in order to shield the blow of the TRUTH that most women REALLY DON'T WANT TO HEAR!!!!!! Yet, need to hear.
I know I may get some semi-hate mail from some of my female readers, yet I have already braced myself for some emotinoal filled responses. Yet I don't mind hearing it, because I'm writing this shit so you can hear WHAT'S REAL!
Now me, I'm at a point where I too am weighing my options. I have my infamous "THE Fuck Buddy" of whom I can't seem to let go of, yet in the mean time I'm exploring my many male options in search of my 2nd SPECIAL FRIEND. The Fuck Buddy and I have discussed this as well. I let him know that I need to find me someone else to have sex with aside from him because I feel I'm getting too attached and because he travels too much. I need someone to fill in the sexual and emotional gaps that THE Fuck Buddy can't fill. Actually, I don't believe that at this point in my life any ONE MAN can satisfy me and many of my wants. One man can feed my sexual need, yet not the want demanded my sexual appetite.
I'm also embarking upon a dating spout because I really want to see what's out there. How many different kind of men are out there? What is it like to date an Italian or French man LoL? What's the real span of difference between the brotha who owns a couple barber shops on the southside of Chicago wihout any MBA and the the brotha with the MBA who works for Ariel Investments? Are big dick brothas more arrogant than lil dick brothas? Do I like a man who is a mama's boy or daddy's #1 fan? Are "hip hop heads" deeper thinkers then the "rastas"? Does a vegetarian man have sperm that taste better than a man who eats Burger King? I MEAN DAMN I WANNA KNOW!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!
Now, as I'm WEIGHING MY OPTIONS, it is my goal to remain as HONEST AS POSSIBLE WITH THE INDIVIDUALS INVOLVED because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I'm not in the business of tellin a mutha fucka he's my one and only, when I'm about to get my back blown out my THE Fuck Buddy. You feel me? Also, being that I plan on havings a sexual relationship with both THE Fuck Buddy and my prospective Speacial Friend, I want everyone to know what's going on with what. No Secrets!!!! I simply don't have time to be hinding my lifestyle. I'm a GROWN ASS WOMAN! What the fuck I look like being all sneaky and shit, tryna be a "playaette". Fuck that! My conscious is too heavy for living such a life filled with lies and deciet.
Anywho! Gotta run! This was a blog that was suggested at the spur of the moment, so I still plan to blog again soon, AND I'll be featured on someones blog in the near future *Wink*.
Life is good.......
Forever Fabulous,
The Single Dame
P.S. You know the deal. I didn't spell check nor did I check for sentences that don't make since. LoL! Don't Judge Me!
One of my lovely & beautiful blog readers has been "complaining" about this man she is damn near infatuated with. The man told her ass either directly or indirectly, that he is WEIGHING HIS OPTIONS. She has a HUGE problem with it, and says that it plays with peoples hearts.
Hmmmm, at first sight this sounds true. BUT, if a man is being honest with you, as a woman you MUST LISTEN TO EVERY DAMN WORD HE IS SHARING WITH YOU. Indeed his actions may be screaming something different, YET often men SPEAK THE TRUTH and WOMEN REFUSE TO LISTEN.
If a man is stating that he is WEIGHING HIS OPTIONS, this can be CODE for a few different things. Here are a few:
1. "I'm not ready to settle down, I want my cake and eat it too, I'm trying to tell you as nice as possible without coming across as a complete asshole that DAMNIT I WANT TO FUCK YOU, HER, AND Yo Mommas Bestfriend! But please don't take it personal"
2. "I'm ALMOST ready to settle down, yet I really don't know what kind of woman I want. I think you might be her, yet I feel as though I need to meet other women to CONFIRM that I really want YOU. It's nothing personal, yet I don't want to tell you right now that I want to be with you, when it may not be true. I don't want to hurt your feelings and put us in a situation where we can both get our hearts broken."
3. "Ummm, I'm really not feelin you. I hope you catch the hint!"
Now many of you ladies may be wondering, "Well if this is what the fuck he means by WEIGHING HIS OPTIONS why in the fuck won't he just tell me exactly this instead of having me trying to guess what the fuck he really means?"
And my answer to you ladies is quite simple. If a man were to tell most women (and all the women I know personally) Either # 1 , #2 ,or #3 from above, most women would react as one or all of the following:
1. "Well if you want to be with me, you can ONLY be with me! I'm not gone be takin yo shit. Don't be playing with my damn emotions."
2. "I Love you! Don't you love me baby? Don't you want to fall in Love? I am the woman for you, just trust me. PLEASE don't be with those other women ***Tears flooding her damn face****"
3. "Well, I understand that I may or may not be the woman for you, but I'm gone give you 7 days to figure shit out. If you don't know in 7days if you want to be with me or not, then I'm gone. I can't be waitin around for ya ass!"
4."FUCK YOU N**** I don't need you or your shit!!!! WHAT YOU THINK I'M SOME KINDA HO OR SOMTHIN????? So that's how you gone treat me? Like some kinda ho?"
5. "I'm calling your mom! How could you say somthing like this?"
6. "So does this mean you don't really want to be with me? Is it my hair? You don't think I'm pretty enough? Am I too Fat?"
7. ".....hell nall that wasn't me who bust the windows out your car!" ****Fingers crossed behind back****
Basically, most women would have some emotional filled response that many brothas just don't feel like hearing and experiencing! They don't feel like hearing the attitude or having to grab tissue because some woman is crying uncontrollably because she can't control her damn emotions!!!
Now, it is MY BELIEF that if a man could tell a woman his IN DEPTH TRUTH regarding why he is weighing his options at the moment, then more men would be more OPEN with women. Men have come so accustomed to having to lie/fabricate the truth in order to shield the blow of the TRUTH that most women REALLY DON'T WANT TO HEAR!!!!!! Yet, need to hear.
I know I may get some semi-hate mail from some of my female readers, yet I have already braced myself for some emotinoal filled responses. Yet I don't mind hearing it, because I'm writing this shit so you can hear WHAT'S REAL!
Now me, I'm at a point where I too am weighing my options. I have my infamous "THE Fuck Buddy" of whom I can't seem to let go of, yet in the mean time I'm exploring my many male options in search of my 2nd SPECIAL FRIEND. The Fuck Buddy and I have discussed this as well. I let him know that I need to find me someone else to have sex with aside from him because I feel I'm getting too attached and because he travels too much. I need someone to fill in the sexual and emotional gaps that THE Fuck Buddy can't fill. Actually, I don't believe that at this point in my life any ONE MAN can satisfy me and many of my wants. One man can feed my sexual need, yet not the want demanded my sexual appetite.
I'm also embarking upon a dating spout because I really want to see what's out there. How many different kind of men are out there? What is it like to date an Italian or French man LoL? What's the real span of difference between the brotha who owns a couple barber shops on the southside of Chicago wihout any MBA and the the brotha with the MBA who works for Ariel Investments? Are big dick brothas more arrogant than lil dick brothas? Do I like a man who is a mama's boy or daddy's #1 fan? Are "hip hop heads" deeper thinkers then the "rastas"? Does a vegetarian man have sperm that taste better than a man who eats Burger King? I MEAN DAMN I WANNA KNOW!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!
Now, as I'm WEIGHING MY OPTIONS, it is my goal to remain as HONEST AS POSSIBLE WITH THE INDIVIDUALS INVOLVED because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I'm not in the business of tellin a mutha fucka he's my one and only, when I'm about to get my back blown out my THE Fuck Buddy. You feel me? Also, being that I plan on havings a sexual relationship with both THE Fuck Buddy and my prospective Speacial Friend, I want everyone to know what's going on with what. No Secrets!!!! I simply don't have time to be hinding my lifestyle. I'm a GROWN ASS WOMAN! What the fuck I look like being all sneaky and shit, tryna be a "playaette". Fuck that! My conscious is too heavy for living such a life filled with lies and deciet.
Anywho! Gotta run! This was a blog that was suggested at the spur of the moment, so I still plan to blog again soon, AND I'll be featured on someones blog in the near future *Wink*.
Life is good.......
Forever Fabulous,
The Single Dame
P.S. You know the deal. I didn't spell check nor did I check for sentences that don't make since. LoL! Don't Judge Me!
Join the conversation, add your comment20 MEMBER COMMENT(S)
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On October 21, 2009, 7:08 am Wood says:
LOL, alright now sista girl.
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On October 21, 2009, 10:27 am LLCoolB says:
You came with the fire on this one. Im not mad at u. Thats what ur suppose to do. I don't understand why people are so busy getting handcuffed pre-maturely. Its too much opportunity out there.
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On October 21, 2009, 11:30 am DarkNight says:
Damn girl, slow down... :) On the other post you were about to become an angry black woman and now you angry at the women. You've got it pegged though :). It would seem women would read between those lines by now. I think you hit it on the head.
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On October 21, 2009, 11:58 am SingleDame says:
LoL! First and Foremost, I find it so damn humorous that thus far only MEN have commented on this blog! LoL!!!! Hmmmmm......that tells me I may have spoke some of MY truth that done hit a few nerve endings....
I hope to hear some Women Responses soon....... When this post was first posted on my actua blogl www.TheSingleDame.blogspot.com LAWD HAVE MERCY! Some of the e-mails I got were from some ANGRY BLACK WOMEN For sure! Perhaps this time it will be different? LoL. MY TRUTH CAN HURT SOMETIMES! YET MOST-TIMES....many benefit from it. Thanks for all the comment love and feedback! MUCH RESPECT! Forever Fabulous, The Single Dame www.TheSingleDame.blogspot.com |
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On October 21, 2009, 12:46 pm MassAppeal says:
Whoa SingleDame! Outside of my girl Dashons blogs I think I've been waiting to hear the realness from a womans perspective like this here on this site. Might have to check out your blog spot on the daily. You definitely didn't hold any punches and I think more women need to challenge each other to understand exactly what the hell men are trying to tell these women. We're not trying to be decieving, manipulators or players, we're just trying to let you know everything doesn't have to be so conclusive.
It's also interesting that none of the women haven't responded yet as well. |
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On October 21, 2009, 1:14 pm Dashon says:
@SingleDame: Just reading your blog...and I commend you on speaking YOUR truth. When you said: "Now, it is MY BELIEF that if a man could tell a woman his IN DEPTH TRUTH regarding why he is weighing his options at the moment, then more men would be more OPEN with women. Men have come so accustomed to having to lie/fabricate the truth in order to shield the blow of the TRUTH that most women REALLY DON'T WANT TO HEAR!!!!!! Yet, need to hear."......
It resonated with me, because the other leg to this two-legged table is that women lie to the men for the same reasons. They lie about their sexual resume, downplay the pride & feeling of empowerment they get from their accomplishments, tell a man he's the best best lover she's ever had when in fact he sucks (and not in a good way)....for the same reasons as a dude, or to avoid the labels and judgments that come with the type of truth you've just presented. The way I see it, is that unless both legs of this two-legged table are placed strategically, then they will not be able to sustain the weight of the tabletop...ya feel me? (The tabletop being a metaphor for a relationship). IMHO....ALL truth has the ability to hurt....which is why MEN & WOMEN will refrain from telling it. Just my 2.5. |
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On October 21, 2009, 2:27 pm MassAppeal says:
Good points Dashon. Both genders have become masters at dictating, misleading and only telling half the truth for the aforementioned reasons. Goes back to my blogs "Put Me in Coach" and "Two Can Play The Game". It's Exactly what I've been talking about but ya'll don't here me doe.
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On October 21, 2009, 6:06 pm travilly says:
lmao i love this post! you go girl! you are speaking the truth and i ain't mad about it one damn bit!!!
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On October 21, 2009, 10:56 pm IntroSpectiv says:
@ SingleDame
I have a question.... In reference to your 'have a F*** buddy and a guy on the side' plans....How many guys do you know are willing to knowingly share the same woman? I'm just curious. |
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On October 22, 2009, 2:04 am SingleDame says:
@ IntroSpectiv....
Well, quite honestly. Since writing this blog, I've discussed the matter with THE Fuck Buddy and he was didn't commen for a while. He was quiet and appread to be in deep thought, then all he said was, "well...let me know when you start fuckin's someone else". Then after that, he start being like extra nice to me LoL. He start acting a bit possessive of my pussy and things of that nature, yet i dismissed that as him simply being jealous. Also, since I originally posted this blog, I've come to meet a man of whom I have given the titel, "THE Antidote". And he is is utter disagreement with sharing my pussy. He has told me repeatedly that once he gets a piece of my pussy....he ain't sharin. I've remained very open wtih both men & I will continue to do so. My guess is, neither men will leave me alone because they really do like me. If anyting, they'll simply be in competition with one another on a journey to claim my pussy.... A pussy that will always and forever be MINE and only I CAN CLAIM MY PUSSY! Right? Forever Fabulous, The Single Dame |
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On October 22, 2009, 2:12 am SingleDame says:
@ IntroSpectiv....
Well, quite honestly. Since writing this blog, I've discussed the matter with THE Fuck Buddy and he was didn't commen for a while. He was quiet and appread to be in deep thought, then all he said was, "well...let me know when you start fuckin's someone else". Then after that, he start being like extra nice to me LoL. He start acting a bit possessive of my pussy and things of that nature, yet i dismissed that as him simply being jealous. Also, since I originally posted this blog, I've come to meet a man of whom I have given the titel, "THE Antidote". And he is is utter disagreement with sharing my pussy. He has told me repeatedly that once he gets a piece of my pussy....he ain't sharin. I've remained very open wtih both men & I will continue to do so. My guess is, neither men will leave me alone because they really do like me. If anyting, they'll simply be in competition with one another on a journey to claim my pussy.... A pussy that will always and forever be MINE and only I CAN CLAIM MY PUSSY! Right? Forever Fabulous, The Single Dame |
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On October 22, 2009, 2:13 am SingleDame says:
@ IntroSpectiv....
Well, quite honestly. Since writing this blog, I've discussed the matter with THE Fuck Buddy and he was didn't commen for a while. He was quiet and appread to be in deep thought, then all he said was, "well...let me know when you start fuckin's someone else". Then after that, he start being like extra nice to me LoL. He start acting a bit possessive of my pussy and things of that nature, yet i dismissed that as him simply being jealous. Also, since I originally posted this blog, I've come to meet a man of whom I have given the titel, "THE Antidote". And he is is utter disagreement with sharing my pussy. He has told me repeatedly that once he gets a piece of my pussy....he ain't sharin. I've remained very open wtih both men & I will continue to do so. My guess is, neither men will leave me alone because they really do like me. If anyting, they'll simply be in competition with one another on a journey to claim my pussy.... A pussy that will always and forever be MINE and only I CAN CLAIM MY PUSSY! Right? Forever Fabulous, The Single Dame |
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On October 22, 2009, 2:17 am SingleDame says:
@ IntroSpectiv....
Well, quite honestly. Since writing this blog, I've discussed the matter with THE Fuck Buddy and he was didn't commen for a while. He was quiet and appread to be in deep thought, then all he said was, "well...let me know when you start fuckin's someone else". Then after that, he start being like extra nice to me LoL. He start acting a bit possessive of my pussy and things of that nature, yet i dismissed that as him simply being jealous. Also, since I originally posted this blog, I've come to meet a man of whom I have given the titel, "THE Antidote". And he is is utter disagreement with sharing my pussy. He has told me repeatedly that once he gets a piece of my pussy....he ain't sharin. I've remained very open wtih both men & I will continue to do so. My guess is, neither men will leave me alone because they really do like me. If anyting, they'll simply be in competition with one another on a journey to claim my pussy.... A pussy that will always and forever be MINE and only I CAN CLAIM MY PUSSY! Right? Forever Fabulous, The Single Dame |
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On October 22, 2009, 9:27 am RickGeez says:
Sister I love the fact the you give these brothers the choice to make their own decisions. The brothers who see more than just the physical will step up and let it be known. It's about choices, actions, decisions and consequences.
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On October 22, 2009, 11:29 am IntroSpectiv says:
@ SingleDame
"I've remained very open wtih both men & I will continue to do so. My guess is, neither men will leave me alone because they really do like me. If anyting, they'll simply be in competition with one another on a journey to claim my pussy.... A pussy that will always and forever be MINE and only I CAN CLAIM MY PUSSY! Right?" Very true. Can't argue with that last statement....although I am not the kind of man that competes with any other man over a woman. I can understand not being ready or not having the desire to commit yourself to one man right now....but what is giving a fraction of yourself to multiple men going to accomplish in the long run? "Also, since I originally posted this blog, I've come to meet a man of whom I have given the titel, "THE Antidote". And he is is utter disagreement with sharing my pussy. He has told me repeatedly that once he gets a piece of my pussy....he ain't sharin." I agree with this guy. I'll be damned if I go 10 years and counting without a meaningful relationship with a woman only to share the one I finally do end up with. (Or, even worse, cheat on her.) |
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On October 22, 2009, 11:37 am SingleDame says:
@IntroSpective....
You stated then asked me, "I can understand not being ready or not having the desire to commit yourself to one man right now....but what is giving a fraction of yourself to multiple men going to accomplish in the long run?" What shall it accomplish in the long run?......expreience, lust, lessons learned, hopefully no bridges burned........and wisdom. I shall openly embrace the fun & possible heartache and/or pain that shall come from this particular chapter in my life. It shall only add to my character. The woman I have become today is the product of triumphs, fuck ups, tears, smiles, assholes, death, caring people & LIFE! I enjoy living.....it's adventurous. Forever Fabulous, The Single Dame |
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On October 22, 2009, 11:39 am SingleDame says:
@RickGeez
..."It's about choices, actions, decisions and consequences." I love it. Enough said. Forever Fabulous, The Single Dame |
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On October 22, 2009, 8:41 pm IntroSpectiv says:
@ SingleDame
I guess experience is a good thing. *light bulb comes on* Maybe I need to adopt a similar strategy so I can at least get my numbers up. Experience is the one major thing I'm lacking in life. I am so preoccupied with avoiding bad experiences that I probably limit my chances for ANY experience, period. |
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On October 23, 2009, 3:21 pm SoulonArt says:
@IntroSpectiv - Life is not about the experiences you avoid, but about how you handle the ones you confront. You can't tip toe through life, hoping not to make any mistakes. Have some fun and enjoy the ride.
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On December 14, 2009, 8:02 am BEASTFRMVA says:
Just got around to this one...but I like it. I don't see how people do it any other weigh. Let's just get things together and make sure that we go after what we want. Too often people get into relationships for the wrong reasons and more so before they are ready for what they have gotten themselves into. I personally believe that you should always figure out what you want and then go get it. I hate people who get into something and get out because they were not ready for monogamy and committment.
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