Am I the only one? I hate seeing a person with underwear on that you can see; women are the biggest offenders, but then there are men and their boxers. Let’s address the women first.

Ladies… we have so many styles of panties at our disposal. There are traditional briefs, bikini briefs, and hi-cut briefs. There are string bikinis, hipsters, boy shorts and thongs. All of these come in various types of fabric and most styles can be found with seamless panty-line technology. So, why do we see big grandma briefs bunched up at the top of your low-rider jeans? Why do we see a huge neon green triangle fighting for air between the massiveness of your cheeks?  And why do we have to be subject to the fact that your a$$ eats more fabric than a goat?

Analyze your bum. If you have one that transcends into your thighs with no evident ending point, hook, or definite crease that indicates this is where the gluteus maximus ends and the thighs begin, then you may want to research seamless panties or stick with thongs. When your derrière is so deafening that it has its own zip code, buy the size that fits. We don’t want to know that your back end has domestic abuse charges against your underwear for strangulation, nor are we interested to see that the elastic in the left leg has been weakened by the magnitude of your backside and rises with each step you take.  And please don’t think that I’m hating on women that are well endowed, those with smaller rears suffer from the same illogical thinking. Just because it lacks in size, doesn’t mean we want to see it chewing cud either.

Simply stated… before you walk out the door, take a moment to turn around and look at your posterior in the mirror. We would all appreciate the consideration.

Gentlemen… we aren’t interested. I’ve asked women from all walks of life. From young to old, from hood-chicks to doctorate-holding females; we are not interested in seeing your boxers. Yes, some women tolerate it, but trust me it’s not a prerequisite for dating us. Women think along the lines that styles change and soon you will, too. Some believe that after a while they will politely nag you into conforming to their wishes. Many women won’t date you just because you choose to air the drawers. There is nothing more disgusting than seeing a man pick the bite out of his fanny, because the thin cotton fabric decided to find refuge.

Can’t we all just get a pair that fits?