Soooo…. last week I wrote “My Gilded Silhouette Too Far To See”. There has been such a response to the meaning of the poem that I’ve decided to share. Most of you could tell that it was personal in nature, but that was just about the only thing yall got right! This poem caused people to come out the woodwork! People who were too busy to respond with a “Merry Christmas” or “Happy New Year” came sniffing around to see what was going on! LOL! No need to worry though, I’m more than o.k. & there’s no need to feel sorry for me.

I was reading a blog the other day which seemed really prim & pristine. This was my first impression as I only read 2 posts. From a submissive wife… to a stay at home mother… to a mother that home-schools her children, it seemed this writer had a very perfect view of their life & the decisions they’ve made on how to live. They questioned those women who don’t make similar choices. Again, my first impression. Anyway, I hope that as you read my words I don’t come across that way. The views & opinions that I have are my own & I do strive to be a good person, but in no way do I want anyone to perceive me as the type of person that puts myself above another…

I am like any other person. I have my highs & lows. I have those times when I feel great about myself, my life, my decisions & times when it’s… eh, not so much. The later is what this poem expresses. I think those of us who understand that we are not & never will be perfect, understand this about others. I don’t hold people is such high regard that I feel slighted when I see their imperfections. I don’t feel a need to attack them because my perception of their life has fallen short of my expectations. (Yep, you might want to read that one again.)

When I see someone struggling, whether it be with new information or a changing situation, I try to exhibit patience. I try to let them ease into the situation. Change can be uncomfortable. It can bring out the worst in people, but that one moment doesn’t define them. It’s easy to show compassion when a job is lost, a loved one passes, or an earthquake hits. Oh, it’s easy to shed a tear then, but what about those times that aren’t so sensational? Change is hard. Opportunities that you thought you had may no longer be available. When you look at that closed door, it can make you second guess your decision. Did you just pass on success? Did you give up too soon? I try to give myself patience &compassion, just as I have patience & compassion for others, JUST as I expect others to have for me. When I don’t receive it, I understand & extend it anyway. I don’t remove contact, I don’t close doors, I don’t spit hate. And it’s hard… it would be much easier to act a fool. It could be so gratifying, so childishly devilishly fun! But no.

So, last week instead of attacking myself, instead of condemning my decisions, instead of trying to pretend to be a pillar of anything, I allowed myself to feel the disappointment & push through it with words…

Eyes closed
I breathe deep
Baroque, the fragrance (smell)
Isochronized waves (mental thoughts synchronized)
Delightful (smell) to my mind (mental)
Tears fall (sadness)
It’s mine, His promise to me (childish disappointment)

Medicinal (smell), the melody (hearing)
Primed form (body synchronized)
Harmonic (hearing) my body (body)
Chest lade (sadness)
It’s mine, His promise to me (childish disappointment)

Dulcet (hearing), the trifle (taste)
Selected pith (soul synchronized)
Sweet (taste) to my soul (soul)
Lips bound (sadness)
It’s mine, His promise to me (childish disappointment)

Luscious (taste), the cloth (touch)
Authentic being (spirit synchronized)
Enfold (touch) my spirit (spirit)
Head pounds (sadness)
It’s mine, His promise to me (affirmation)

Eye open (third eye, yall)

It’s pretty simple really. There is a mind, body, soul, spirit theme. One in each stanza. Then, I used senses; smell, hearing, taste, touch, then finally sight. I was dealing with success & my purpose in life. I used the senses because I wanted to feel each one in relationship to my perception of success. What does success smell like to me? & so on. I was feeling frustrated which is the sadness, childishness & impatience with God’s timing. One day I hope to fully be up to my nose in the last stanza, but since I’m not there… the poem was called “My Gilded Silhouette Too Far To See”. I know God has me destined for glory, but it seems so far away.

Capeesh? It’s soooo not about a man (no need to call and check to see if you can get back in), or sex, or anything else! LOL, but I love yall for being you! Muah!!

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