July 29th 2010
How Can I Move The Crowd...
 |
by MassAppeal on March 13, 2010, 10:15 am in The Meet Market
|
8 comments |
First of all, aint no mistakes allowed. Here are the instructions, put em together, it's simple aint it? But quite clever. How many women really know how to move a crowd? Melanie once wrote about it and called it beasting. Some women have mastered it while others who find it difficult are the ones that sit back and hate. On the real I see quite a few men with that type of *itchassness. The ones who look like they took more time than the average woman to get all dressed and coordinated. The ones that wear shades and hot ass fake burberry scarves arond their necks in te middle of a hot club. I'm already digressing.
What I'm trying to say is, to real men, there's nothing like a graceful, confident, secure woman who knows what she wants when she enters the room. It's hard to explain but we know it when we see it. It's open to any and every type of women to have that same type of mass appeal (no pun intended but yeah). A woman that can move the crowd moves in silence and demands respect. I've seen it from every type of woman from all shades of color and sizes. It's about how you work what you got. It could be from rocking a natural cut to looking like you just stepped out of the salon. It could be from her walk in some sexy heels to her fashion style that compliments her body frame and skin tone. Another big attraction is how she socializes and mingles with other people. There's nothing like a woman who can walk in a room and shut it down with a deadly smile looking like she's enjoying life to the fullest. It's equally disturbing to see an attractive sister walking around like the world is on her back. Those are the type that need to stay home and stop blowing my "I'm high off of that life shit."
We love black women with great personalities who can speak intelligently on all levels from pop culture, modern day history to sports to knowing who holds the majority in congress and the recent bills that were passed through Senate and House. This is what separates a girl from a woman. We love a woman with social skills. I'm talking about when we try to approach and may not be what she's looking for and she has the ability to reject us in such a classy manner. Even if it's bunch of lies, it works. She'll have us walking away feeling at the least we met a new friend. She's not out to make a man look bad or out to kill his confidence early in the night. I understand that some cats deserve to be treated that way if they come off disrespectful but not every man deserves to be treated that way. But I've seen some sisters get off rejecting cats for their own self esteem issues even if a man approaches in a cordial, polite manner. Not all men know how to charge it to the game. To those women who need that type of attention I can hear them on the way home saying, "Girl, this ninja tried to holla at me. I told him to keep it moving. His hairline was all jacked up girl." Why women try to act offended because some dude tried to kick it? Why? On most occasions that was her highlight of the night knowing damn well she was frontin for her girls wishing she got at dude because she's still going home to an empty crib.
We can tell the women who put in the time and energy versus the women who look so damn socially awkward as if she rarely get out. It's a big difference. These are the women who really want to meet a nice dude but they can't even hold a conversation. Let's be real, some women don't have the social skills but they may be good on paper. It could be because they might not be interested in the cat trying to holla but those are the same women who sit there all night mean muggin everybody. Those are the same ones that keep saying black men aint ish complaining and they wonder why. You get what you put in right?
What a good number of women don't understand is that men are real strategic if we're out looking and ready to court a woman. A basic cute outfit won't do it anymore. It may allow you get past the first impression but women need to give us more credit. As men mature, so does our standards. Women can't attract a good, decent man with the same way you did back in college or HS. Keep thinking that every man is shallow thinking men will take any woman just because she has some big ole bitties, a phat booty or because you rolled up in that black Benz CLS with the double 00 with the 5 in front (RIP BIGGIE). So far from the truth. You could be rocking a turtle neck and some long johns riding a Honda scooter wearing a helmet and protected eye wear and still be sexy if you have that wifey type appeal. You can have all the physical attributes a man could want but even a fine woman with bad grammar would quickly be moved to booty call status. Start giving us more credit. Not every man is out for ass. We've caught on to those new booty pads under those jeans and padded lift up bras, or those shiny synthetic wigs looking like you just stepped off the set of a Revlon shampoo commercial. Keep it 100 and we'll do the same.
Call me superficial. Go ahead and say that's just Mass being Mass like you always do but I'm telling you some real ish. If you desire to enhance your looks, cool, just keep it limited, because it's all about how you rock it. But as men we sit back and get to thinking what you might look like early and every morning. We refused to be fooled. Women are just as superficial too. How many times have you ever asked a woman what's the first thing she notices about a man? 9 out of 10 times it's his shoes. If your shoes are damn near heal less and dusty you'll never have the opportunity to express all the substance and character you may have. First impressions are initially what you get you in the door. All that talk about what women are looking for in a man, we just want you to be real and say some shiny shoes, a fresh cut and a straight hairline. If my first impression isn't in order how will you find out anything else about me? You all know if my gear and hair cut is jacked, you won't even converse long enough with me to even find out if I'm an engineer, a garbage man, unemployed, a blogger or if I have an MBA. Just say it. As men we don't have a problem saying what we like from the physical to discussing your credentials on paper.
If it's about "beasting" in a packed club, church, the board room, McDonalds, Kroger Foods or if it's just me and my gold fish watching you in my bedroom, it's something sexy to see a grown woman who knows how to move a crowd.
Question- How important are first impressions?
What I'm trying to say is, to real men, there's nothing like a graceful, confident, secure woman who knows what she wants when she enters the room. It's hard to explain but we know it when we see it. It's open to any and every type of women to have that same type of mass appeal (no pun intended but yeah). A woman that can move the crowd moves in silence and demands respect. I've seen it from every type of woman from all shades of color and sizes. It's about how you work what you got. It could be from rocking a natural cut to looking like you just stepped out of the salon. It could be from her walk in some sexy heels to her fashion style that compliments her body frame and skin tone. Another big attraction is how she socializes and mingles with other people. There's nothing like a woman who can walk in a room and shut it down with a deadly smile looking like she's enjoying life to the fullest. It's equally disturbing to see an attractive sister walking around like the world is on her back. Those are the type that need to stay home and stop blowing my "I'm high off of that life shit."
We love black women with great personalities who can speak intelligently on all levels from pop culture, modern day history to sports to knowing who holds the majority in congress and the recent bills that were passed through Senate and House. This is what separates a girl from a woman. We love a woman with social skills. I'm talking about when we try to approach and may not be what she's looking for and she has the ability to reject us in such a classy manner. Even if it's bunch of lies, it works. She'll have us walking away feeling at the least we met a new friend. She's not out to make a man look bad or out to kill his confidence early in the night. I understand that some cats deserve to be treated that way if they come off disrespectful but not every man deserves to be treated that way. But I've seen some sisters get off rejecting cats for their own self esteem issues even if a man approaches in a cordial, polite manner. Not all men know how to charge it to the game. To those women who need that type of attention I can hear them on the way home saying, "Girl, this ninja tried to holla at me. I told him to keep it moving. His hairline was all jacked up girl." Why women try to act offended because some dude tried to kick it? Why? On most occasions that was her highlight of the night knowing damn well she was frontin for her girls wishing she got at dude because she's still going home to an empty crib.
We can tell the women who put in the time and energy versus the women who look so damn socially awkward as if she rarely get out. It's a big difference. These are the women who really want to meet a nice dude but they can't even hold a conversation. Let's be real, some women don't have the social skills but they may be good on paper. It could be because they might not be interested in the cat trying to holla but those are the same women who sit there all night mean muggin everybody. Those are the same ones that keep saying black men aint ish complaining and they wonder why. You get what you put in right?
What a good number of women don't understand is that men are real strategic if we're out looking and ready to court a woman. A basic cute outfit won't do it anymore. It may allow you get past the first impression but women need to give us more credit. As men mature, so does our standards. Women can't attract a good, decent man with the same way you did back in college or HS. Keep thinking that every man is shallow thinking men will take any woman just because she has some big ole bitties, a phat booty or because you rolled up in that black Benz CLS with the double 00 with the 5 in front (RIP BIGGIE). So far from the truth. You could be rocking a turtle neck and some long johns riding a Honda scooter wearing a helmet and protected eye wear and still be sexy if you have that wifey type appeal. You can have all the physical attributes a man could want but even a fine woman with bad grammar would quickly be moved to booty call status. Start giving us more credit. Not every man is out for ass. We've caught on to those new booty pads under those jeans and padded lift up bras, or those shiny synthetic wigs looking like you just stepped off the set of a Revlon shampoo commercial. Keep it 100 and we'll do the same.
Call me superficial. Go ahead and say that's just Mass being Mass like you always do but I'm telling you some real ish. If you desire to enhance your looks, cool, just keep it limited, because it's all about how you rock it. But as men we sit back and get to thinking what you might look like early and every morning. We refused to be fooled. Women are just as superficial too. How many times have you ever asked a woman what's the first thing she notices about a man? 9 out of 10 times it's his shoes. If your shoes are damn near heal less and dusty you'll never have the opportunity to express all the substance and character you may have. First impressions are initially what you get you in the door. All that talk about what women are looking for in a man, we just want you to be real and say some shiny shoes, a fresh cut and a straight hairline. If my first impression isn't in order how will you find out anything else about me? You all know if my gear and hair cut is jacked, you won't even converse long enough with me to even find out if I'm an engineer, a garbage man, unemployed, a blogger or if I have an MBA. Just say it. As men we don't have a problem saying what we like from the physical to discussing your credentials on paper.
If it's about "beasting" in a packed club, church, the board room, McDonalds, Kroger Foods or if it's just me and my gold fish watching you in my bedroom, it's something sexy to see a grown woman who knows how to move a crowd.
Question- How important are first impressions?
Join the conversation, add your comment8 MEMBER COMMENT(S)
 |
On March 13, 2010, 10:40 am loveless says:
First impressions are so important that it may be your only one. Wll I have no problem moving a crowd. I am as socialite. How do I know because I can go outside to take out trash and guys are trying to holler. I go to work and eat in the teacher lounge and speak to everyone, even if they dont speak back. I go to church and sit on the same pew and do my part. I speak to every crackhead I pass at the gas station and if they ask for change I give it to them. I compliment other women at the club on their outfit, hair, or lipgloss. Yes, Im not petty at all. I do my part being socialable and im very, very good at it. I just dont take it any further. If someone wants my socialbility skills to expand then they are in for a rude awakening. I just want to do my part as a good sociable person. When I walk in the room I know I have that IT factor. Not many ppl can say that. I have a cousin and I love her dearly but she is constantly rolling her eyes at ppl she dont even know. She talk down to ppl as if they are a piece of sh**. But I know she is really the insecure one. Recently we were at a party and I was with my other cousin. She came in and I introduced them, she rolled her eyes at him. She assumed he was my new boyfriend. He was dressed nice, smelled nice and was looking so damn good that night. What she didnt know was he had his man there with him, Because no one really know about them, she flirted all night with his man. This was really funny. See thats why you cant treay ppl like sh**. KARMA. After they left she asked me to hook her up with my cousin's man. That was too funny. I still havent told her he is Gay. But oh well I'll let her keep thinking her own thoughts. Another brother approached her and gave her his whole time line what college he graduated from, the new house he bought and how much annual salary, again her social skills did not allow her to reject gracefully. She kept looking for the next big drug dealer. So Sad
|
 |
On March 13, 2010, 11:07 am MassAppeal says:
Loveless I can dig it. I love the confidence that you're talking about. I coudn't tell you how many times I've tried to take my single homegirls out to meet cats and by the end of the night they've already cussed a few of them out. I think people overlook the fact having social skills is important but everyone thinks that they have that ability. Some are too extra with it and others are so far from being themselves it becomes real obvious they're faking. The key is to be comfortable with yourself and not allowing other peoples reations determine how you greet and treat people. Peoples reactions are too contigent on how they treat you first. I look at myself as a personal brand. Why ruin it because certain customers try to hate like some try to do on this site to me directly..lol. Like I said in the blog, charge to the game.
|
 |
On March 13, 2010, 1:05 pm Wood says:
Good post Mass. While I understand the concept regarding "Beasting", or moving the crowd, I could never connect being socially graceful, intriguing publicly and connoisoeurs of social protocal to any consistancy in one-on-one personal interaction or it translating to anything in the romantic relm.
Personally, I don't put any weight on who is Beasting or who gets moved or not out in a social arena. If she came through the side door unnoticed and sat at a side table baby sitting a drink, if she have some serious tangible and intangible attributes working in her favor, she will have no problem persuaying many of these brothas to hang up their jersey and leave the game. I've always heard brothas talk about "sleepers" regarding the sistas. "Sleepers are sistas who are the ones who come in under the radar without Beasting or moving anyone on the superficial, but are quietly and subtly handling their business when it actually matters to a man in the relationship arena without even a whisper or stare. I have always kept my eyes open for the sleeper, and that is exactly what I got... a sleeper. |
|
On March 13, 2010, 2:45 pm MassAppeal says:
Thanks Wood. I would say beasting or the ability to move the crowd come in different styles. Some are more open with it and as the blog states some move in silence. By saying to move the crowd it could be measured on the type of energy someone is giving off.
|
 |
On March 14, 2010, 8:50 pm JustAThought says:
I personally get offended when men old enough to be my great grandfather try to holla, people who are a good foot shorter than me try to holla, and super duper drunk dudes try to holla. I don't curse people out, tho. That's just stupid. A polite decline is sufficient, and a withering look sends even the most rude boy off without lowering yourself to his level. I will, however, put him on blast w/ my homegirls the next day.
As for beasting, sometimes I have it, sometimes I don't. Really depends on how quickly I can unwind and hit the dancefloor. Sometimes, tho, black establishments are known for people posting up and throwing shade at those of us who don't want to just stand around. I am tickled how you talk about women keep it real, and that men are looking at the superficial elements of a woman's appearance and personality, and yet throw salt at women that look at a man's appearance and make snap judgements about that. I mean, I don't discount a man that isn't Boris Kudjoe, but no matter what a man looks like, he needs to demonstrate through his appearance and demeanor that his cares about himself, and that he carries himself a certain way. |
 |
On March 15, 2010, 6:52 pm Dashon says:
@Mass: As I read this blog...I was like dayum, that's me! (LOL) My Mom was my role model for how a lady can rock her feminitity & sexuality in a classy way, and as you say "command the room".
It really is about your attitude and outlook on life. What's happening on the inside resonates on the outside -- and its that energy that draws folks to you. I seriously believe that while I might not fit the descriptor of "sterotypical beauty", I've never had a problem with drawing folks attention ...and when I say folks...I mean Men :-) How important are first impressions? I would say they're important...but their importance is relevant only when the impression is based on things that go beyond the surface. We all know the axiom "You only get once to make a first impression"; well my take on that is: If I can make the RIGHT impression...I'll have a chance to make a second, and maybe that time I'll have my hair & nails done, and won't be running around in sweats and a "Got Motwon" t-shirt. (lol) |
 |
On March 20, 2010, 10:31 am GlamourChic says:
Great Post MASS... and replies all... I am social butterfly... I am completely comfortable to attend a social function alone... I have my GF's but dont usually "run in a pack". At this age now I know its what most men frown upon. SO I attend this function at a familiar place in my town, upon arrival there werent many ppl there yet so. I enter, always with a welcoming smile and hellos along the ppl that I immediately make eyecontact with.. men speak , ladies quickly divert their eyes so that they dont hav to speak, oh well ok...I approach the bar, grab a drink and decide where I sit amongst the tables, bar, or lounge area. I decide front and center table section so that I may see and be seen... As the club starts to fill with " the pack" of women around me I notice that as I speak to ladies they giv me "face" like its to hard to return greeting to a sista... HONESTLY I am a very attractive lady and in great shape (becuz I workout 5 times a week) size 8 , 5'8 without heels (usually in a 5' heel nowadays). It was a casual event, I decided on a cute dress short and classy. To say the least... So what is it sistas. When we see a woman that can WORK THE ROOM, MOVE THE CROWD, on her own WHY cant we just give her love...no matter.. I was a lil taken aback. Since I was there alone it would of been nice to strike up convo wit the sista sitting next to me on either side since they waiting for friends but on one end she just constently cked her phone and texted.. the otha sista avoided eye contact with me...When I finially did leave, to attend another event I had planned for the evening, most of the ladies there didnt even return a slight hint of a smile or greeting I mostly simply said " hav a good nite "... as I exited. So next month I will attend the same social, some otha cute dress same swagger... Maybe next time I will just stand post up like the bro's do... " Ya can get to know me, cuz I aint going nowhere"
|
|
On March 20, 2010, 1:10 pm loveless says:
@Glamour I agree most women will not and cannot respect our swagg. I go to events alone too, not because I dont have girlfriends or men friends to tag along but sometimes I just like going by myself. This reminds me of Waiting To Exhale when Whitney went to the party alone and the ppl at the table wouldnt speak because they were so insecure. Please dont let a woman be with her man, they think we are just out on the prowl. Thats crazy. If I was there I would've spoke and gave you your props. Women are so catty towards other women but like you said be prepared because I will be at the next event and the next so start speaking because everytime I see you im going to speak, smile and give you a compliment until you build up some self-esteem or at least a little class.
|
