We’ve all heard the expression or should I say the label “Angry Black Woman (ABW)”.  There’s no denying that we have a fair share of ABW’s in our communities, however you never really hear about the Angry Black Man (ABM).  Trust that they are also amongst us. 

This phenomenon is not new, but it seems like there’s been a resurgence in the number of Black Men who are harboring anger toward, and a resolute distrust of women. Some are just angry on what the old folks call “GP” (general principle).

How do you spot an ABM?  He will be the guy who consistently expresses debasing or negative opinions about women -- painting the majority of women with the same broad brush.  His conversation is peppered with comments that hint at the source of his anger and pain, although he’ll be hard-pressed to acknowledge that the pain or painful memories even exist.  The residual of his pain/anger becomes a reoccurring theme or viewpoint that finds its way into most of his comments regarding women, or relationships in general. He will become extremely angry over things that the average person might not even give a second thought to.

Just as the mindset of the ABW convinces her that every man cheats, every man will lie to her, every man will play with her emotions, etc, etc.  The archetype of the ABM is that all women are gold diggers that use men for free meals/drinks, or help with their bills/kids; all women are liars, or all women are sleeping with more than one man at a time, or will open their legs for a hot happy meal, etc., etc. 

So where does this anger come from, and why does it cling to them like the odor of a fabric softener sheet on freshly laundered towels?   After digging around on the Internet, I found several articles that gave reasons as to the existence of what some have coined “The Angry Black Man Syndrome”.  

The reasons included multi-generational anger which is described as:  “Anger that is not limited to current events and day-to-day realities. Rather, it brings into play "historical memories" fueled by anger that has been accumulated, vicariously, as a result of situations and suffering experienced by past generations of African Americans from the slave period to the present.”

Then there’s event-related anger.  Anger that is: “associated with a particular situation or event and abates as the memories of the event fades with time.”

Finally, there is depression-related anger.  According to Dr. David Satcher, former U.S. Surgeon General, “African American men who suffer from depression are far less likely to be diagnosed for depression, and therefore less likely to receive treatment than Caucasian men.”

Anderson & Anderson, a global leader in anger management training and certification; have found that the stigma associated with counseling makes the acknowledgment of depression in African American men unacceptable.  Of the common symptoms associated with depression, anger is the only symptom that makes the sufferer feel strong and powerful, unlike some of the other emotions affiliated with depression. 

 So how do we help our Brothers (and Sisters) who are filled with anger, rage and feelings of resentment toward the opposite sex, and in some cases life in general?  Ernest Johnson, PhD, author of Brothers on the Mend, suggests that changing these thought patterns & behaviors begins with learning how to:

Recognize the real origins of tense, hurt, or helpless feelings -- the first step toward change

Heal the wounds of the past

Move from anger to problem-solving

These are just a few of the many suggestions offered by Dr. Johnson. It sounds very simplistic I know…but take it from a former ABW -- it’s not as easy as it seems, but the peace of mind you gain is priceless.