So, I’m sitting in a restaurant sharing a meal with a male associate when I begin to feel my forehead getting warmer and warmer.  Before I can grab a piece of Kleenex from my purse or the napkin in my lap…I break out in a sweat!  Talk about an appetite killer.

My dinner-mate doesn’t comment, but his eyes are saying “What the hell?”  The crazy part is that I wasn’t even embarrassed.  I chuckled a little bit because I knew what was up; then asked him if he was alright.  He looked at me as if to say “Are YOU alright?  As I headed to the ladies room to freshen up…I thought I heard him say “G--Damn!” or something to that effect. (LOL)

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would be “dating” while going through life’s change of seasons. (Shout out to Girly).  I’d always pictured myself enjoying empty nesting with my ex-husband, and anticipating being grandparents [somewhere down the line], as I went through “the change”.

Let me tell you, dating while menopausal is interesting for sure.  There’s hair growing where it never grew before… moments of “some-timers”, clumsiness and mood swings.  You hope that the men you’re interacting with are mature enough to understand (at least in theory), what you’re going through; and if not understand…accept that this is where you are in your journey.

I remember as a little girl seeing seasoned women with a few strands of hair in the chin area, or a single wire-y one in the crevice between “the girls”.  Back then I thought it was funny.  My sisters and I would crack jokes about it….well hell, now I’m the joke.  God really does have a sense of humor.  It’s cool though.  Considering the alternative…I’ll take the occasional melt-down -- over being put down…ya feel me!

I would later learn that menopause was the culprit behind the additional hair growth & a host of other things.  Menopause is the process in which a woman’s body begins to produce less estrogen in preparation for the end of her child bearing years.  The precursor to menopause is perimenopause; symptoms generally begin during the ages of 35-47. 

Menopausal symptoms can occur for five or more years before our cycle stops entirely.  (Which I personally plan to throw a big party for when mine does)…. but I digress.   

What I found interesting as I searched for stats on African American woman & menopause – is that a significant amount of the research (available), was done prior to 2007.  Something that made me go “hmmm.”  I was curious as to whether the medical community felt  there was no new info to be gleaned, or just had no interest in further study.

Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) is available to help minimize the symptoms.  For women with a history of fibroid tumors, the cure may present a more serious set of side effects.  The primary hormone being replaced is estrogen.  The same hormone that supplies food for the fibroids and contributes to their growth & multiplication.  Utilizing HRT as a remedy may cause existing fibroids to grow versus shrink; which is what organically happens (during menopause) when the levels of estrogen in your body are not enough to sustain them. 

Natural remedies include Soy, Isoflavones products, and St. John’s worts to name a few.  It’s important to note that these products are not regulated in the same manner as prescription and over the counter drugs. 

To the ladies that are having their own “private summers”, I say God Bless & that this too shall pass!

To the ladies that have something to look forward to (I know y'all are like yeah right!)…I say don’t fear it; it’s a natural part of life. 

To the Gents…I say be patient & understanding when dating or loving a “seasoned” woman.   Hell, look at the bright side… you’ll never have to worry that 6 weeks after that private party for two -- you’ll hear the words: “Yeah, I’m sure it’s yours”. (Smile)