We all have our style, the way we like to get down.  Our fantasies range from the sweet slow loving that’s hitting all the right spots, to the rough & rugged ride….and that’s cool…in our fantasies.

Fantasies are a solo activity; sex is a shared experience. What goes down is more about the flow & energy of both partners.  The dynamics of that flow change when one of the partners insists on treating the interaction like it's a throw-back Burger King campaign….”having it their way”.  Perhaps reminiscent of Ann Marie Johnson’s character in Strictly Business….”left, right, up, side…” (lol)

If that’s your style, then I doubt you’re having good sex; and in all likelihood, neither is your partner.  Most women enjoy having their partner take charge.  To lead with a strong hand, but more importantly an open mind.  We have no problem with following a man's lead, but we also want our bodies heard.   We want the insight we possess on what makes our bodies purr & climax, incorporated into our time with you.

Fellas, if your lover shares [with you] the things that bring her pleasure, it’s not a criticism of your performance or your skills.  It’s information that you can use to enhance them -- take the loving to another level for her and for yourself.  Trust that you’ll be rewarded with a body that’s pliable to your touch, and ready for you to umm...lay it down. 

Control is not achieved by demanding (verbally or non-verbally) positions, locations or certain acts (like pushing her head south).  It’s achieved by the ability to elicit the kind of responses that bring you both (breathless) to the promise land.

Take notice of how she moves (or her lack of movement).  Note how she responds when you touch or kiss her in a certain way…on certain areas of her body. Let her responses be your tour guide.  Listen for those breathy directives often spoken in a whisper:”harder, slower, ahhh, right there”…and respond accordingly. 

If she hesitates about doing something you suggest, then either she needs more time or more incentive to go there, maybe it just doesn’t feel right for her….respect that.  Your exemplification of respect will beget respect, and inspire her to go the extra mile…with your pleasure in mind.

Ladies, understand that presentation goes a long way toward inspiring a man to listen to your bodies and incorporate your insights.  Impart the knowledge with a sensual hand, humble spirit, and passionate abandon. 

Don’t play games and hold back on your efforts to pleasure him until he listens; just continue making it do what it do, while encouraging him to make it do what you like….ya feel me?

When sex is truly a partnership versus a dictatorship, the possibilities for pleasure are endless.