My Shortcomings Part 1

Over the years in self reflection I have noticed more than a few personality deficiencies that have caused me to hinder myself in various situations. We all know that no one in perfect and for that matter I don’t feel that anyone should try to be. Yet in still I firmly believe that one’s faults when noticed should not go ignored.

Let me tell you a short story that I truly believe lead to why I have such a chip on my shoulder. When I was young I decided to have a friend spend the night at my house outside in my tent. Yeah I was one of those little boys who slept in the yard in the tent and carried frogs and snakes. That night while in the tent one of my boys came to the tent and convinced me and my camping buddy to sneak up to the middle school with him. It was about 10 pm and we were already bored. So we walked with him. Once there he opened the window by pressing his hands against it and sliding it open. They were never locked he said and we all watched as he hopped into the window and into his teacher’s desk to take reclaim his previously confiscated video game. Problem was that greed took over and he took his game and whatever else he saw worth taking. Then another2 boys who we picked up on the way to the school decided that they were going into the school as well and being the follower I was as a youth I too hopped into the building. We all decided to go to the gym and play basketball in the dark. We must have played for about an hour.

After running around and getting ourselves worn out we decided to do the things we could never do in the school. We first pissed in the girls’ bathroom. No urinals and the walls were pink. Then we went into the teacher’s lounge. In there were found some punch mixer in the refrigerator. But without Sprite or Ginger Ale we had no punch. So we were bright eyed and bushy tailed and decided to walk to the corner store and get some. Only problem was that we decided to walk out of the side doors, setting off the silent alarms. Notice I said that they were silent and because of this we propped the door open and came back in. This just seemed to be easier.  After drinking the punch our little bladders couldn’t hold it and we decided to go pee. But one boy decided to pee on the English books he hated so much and then began throwing floppy disks like Frisbees! At this point I and my camping buddy decided that mischievous fun had turned into delinquent behavior and decided to leave. Unfortunately for us it was too late. As we walked out the doors we were quickly met with the city’s finest! Everyone began to run but my camping buddy and me being the guy I have always been I couldn’t leave him. Good thing too because while were face down in the dirt he was singing like a bird! Remember I said singing! Well truth was I joined the chorus! Shoot I knew what my parents were going to say to me. I could fight so I would rather deal with the cats in the hood than my father anyway!

Long story short: up until this day my parents never had any need to doubt me. My word was golden and they always had my back. But from this day forth it seemed as if anything I said was questioned and checked with a fine-toothed comb. If I was late and there was an accident I mean my father just about called the police to check my story. Because of the lack trust I received from my parents and the fact that my older sister began to tell on every sneaky thing I was doing or trying to do; it created a trigger button in me. I hate lies. I hate being lied to. I hate being lied on and I most certainly hate being told I’m lying when I know I’m telling the truth. With my parents I had to suck it up. Consequently I refused to tolerate it from anyone else. This belief caused me to engage in quite a few fights and even cut quite a few people off. On my left forearm I have 3 words tattooed: faith, pride and integrity. I feel like my integrity must always be upheld and I try to never leave room for anyone to question this.

So tonight while engaging in a what if conversation with a contemporary from this world of mine; I was told I could never be a guy that she could talk to because I try to talk to everyone. I was blown away by this because I really don’t look at the exchange of numbers as trying to talk to anyone…read that-à (http://www.flaglerhill.com/blog/BEASTFRMVA/now-that-i-got-your-number.php) What is worse is that when I posed the question of who then there were no names. Matter of fact there was one name of a young lady who I received her number 3 years ago and we are literally just finding out that we have the same occupation! Three years later I can say that really seems like I was pushing! Really be serious.

Even after refuting that the next thing out of her mouth was “Well that is what people tell me.”

Of course you know that this was followed with “What people?” Question was asked in futility as there were of course no answers. The truth of the matter is that it didn’t matter because she had decided to believe what she heard about me and not what she knew about me. She refused to listen to the ultimate source on my dealings and had no truly substantial evidence to even believe her terrible misinformation. Funny thing is that is the world of any real socialite. From the outside looking in anything can be the truth.

Two questions:

 1) When a person is single shouldn’t they act somewhat differently than they would if they weren’t?  

2) Why do we believe all the bad stuff with no proof?