| by BEASTFRMVA on November 29, 2009, 8:41 pm in Dating
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14 comments |
I'm Jealous...Is that OK?
I have been laughing a lot over this holiday season as I have been doing my norm and people watching. I have seen everything from the brother that buys the girl a drink in the club and thinks that she is his for the rest of the night...to my own subtle and mind boggling, inwardly jealous bouts of things I know I should not be jealous of!
I will say this and I don't quite understand it totally but why do people always seem to want the "NOT" SINGLE person? The obvious answers are because we always want that which we can not have or we just want to know that we can get what others have. More so it is often the idea that it looks so good on them that I need that same shirt. Not one like it but that one! Funny thing is that more often then not, getting that shirt isn't so easy and sometimes requires sharing!
I know many people who play the one on the side. A lot of times they seem to get jealous. Yet it boggles the mind to try to understand how you can be jealous of a person that you knew had someone from the onset! I think this boils down to your personal desires for the outcome of your relationship with this person. Although you have subjected yourself to being second to someone else, we often find ourselves wanting to be the primary. Truly no one wants to be the 1st place loser. We all want to win.
So when dealing with the NOT Single person you are wrong for:
-Being upset if they abruptly have to call you back!
-Not understanding that yes they must take this phone call!
-Not accepting that they can't come see you at a moments notice!
-Not feeling the fact that they can't answer the text or take your call!
-Being mad because the kids are home!
You are really even wrong for being mad if:
-They are flirting with other people!
-You find out that there is someone else!
When is it right to be jealous...really never! But there are times when the feeling can be justified and understood:
First and foremost the relationship must be an understood exclusive relationship! After that determination then parameters on the insecurities that you both have need to be discussed. If you are completely confident in the relationship many things will be ignored...while others will be tolerable. Once all of this is done...then respect for each other can help you to limit the jealous times.
So in closing I'll say this: I'm not jealous and that ladies and gentlemen is OK!
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On December 21, 2009, 2:16 pm primarythoughts.net says:
@Beast - I agree, trying to gain the attention and/or retain the attention of someone who isn't single is a loosing situation no matter how you look at it. You look desperate - not a good look. Insecure - not a good look. And let's say you do win, then what are you going to do? Spend the rest of your years worrying about someone coming along behind you? Or are you going to convince yourself that you ish is the best ish and live in la-la land until you're blind-sided by being replaced? I don't know what the statistics are, but I'll pass. Don't want to be the cheater or the jealous cheatee.
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On January 21, 2010, 9:23 am BEASTFRMVA says:
I had this conversation with someone last night as he is worried about his lady cheating on him. Mainly because he stole her from someone else!
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On January 21, 2010, 5:23 pm BlackSwan says:
@Beast
Sorry to say this but, your friend should be worried. if his lady cheated to be with him, whats stopping the cycle from starting over with him this time around. I can relate to this. I too found myself in a position like that, but ended it because I couldn't help but think "if he's doing that to her, what is he gonna do to me?". It just wasn't worth pursuing. sidetip - it didn't make me feel jealous, it just made me feel unappreciated, stupid and mad |
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On January 21, 2010, 8:20 pm BEASTFRMVA says:
That was my point in saying that Swan...
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On January 25, 2010, 8:59 am lilsexxynika says:
Wow, I must say I too totallly agree with you!!. I do think we all find ourselves feeling this way but you do have to remember to adjust your feelings in a cituation like that!
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On February 6, 2010, 9:22 pm lelaine says:
Why are people jealous any way? Are they actually envying that they are not the only boo in the mix. Jealousy seems to me to be about control and insecurity. In most cases we are mad at ourselves for even putting ourselves in the situation. Just let the feelings go or let the person go. We should keep it real: if you cannot even handle the heat, it's best you step out of the kitchen before you get burned.
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On February 12, 2010, 9:20 am BEASTFRMVA says:
@Lelaine...just wondering...did you read the entire piece?
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On February 12, 2010, 9:21 am BEASTFRMVA says:
@Lelaine...just wondering...did you read the entire piece?
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On February 12, 2010, 9:21 am BEASTFRMVA says:
@Lelaine...just wondering...did you read the entire piece?
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On February 12, 2010, 9:21 am BEASTFRMVA says:
@Lelaine...just wondering...did you read the entire piece?
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On February 12, 2010, 9:21 am BEASTFRMVA says:
@Lelaine...just wondering...did you read the entire post?
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On February 12, 2010, 11:31 am HoneyDip says:
I think this is a really good breakdown of people being jealous when they don't have a right to be honey. I can't understand it myself. HOWEVER it is just human nature in some was to want a piece of what ain't ours and when we get that "piece" not want anyone else to have it. Think back to the playground...if you got a ball, jump rope, etc. even when you KNEW it won't yours you felt kind of a certain way even lettin your homies play with it...LOL!
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On February 13, 2010, 5:52 pm BEASTFRMVA says:
Sucks but that is the truth
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Happy Holidays to ya handsome!