That is what I felt like after I was hit this time. I felt like all the king's
horses & all the king's men were not gonna get me back on that bike again! I
have been around bikes since I was 6 & have owned everything from a lawnmower
powered mini bike to a limited edition Busa. When my Father passed our family
was left his Wing! So I rode it to storage! I have had Harleys & other cruisers
between my thighs...and although it felt different it still felt the same! Yet
after my Dad's passing the bike became my venue & the helmet my sanctuary. This
was my thinking spot & my mental masseuse. This was my much needed escape from
the world!

In my short 26 years of riding I hit the dirt more than a little bit & hit the
pavement 6 effing times too many! Yet the truth is out of those 6 only 1 was my
fault! Oops..2! Yes riding dirt bikes, falling was a part of the game. But on
the street it is priority #1 to avoid the pavement at all costs.

Each accident for me I was BLESSED to have lived & learned. Each accident made
me hone my skills and become a smarter & better rider. Each time I hit the
ground I got up and felt the anger of destroying the second part of me! I felt
the need to get my virtual soul mate up and running; looking and feeling better
than before! Truth was though that each time is was like a break in a strong
relationship. See I had to learn my baby over again because she just didn't ride
the same. I mean yeah some things were the same but others were different
because they had to be! Some were upgrades and some were things that we just put
back together and I had to deal with! Yet in still the biggest problem was that
I we had to build the trust and security back in our relationship so that we
could once again felt the excitement and joy! See our break up left us both
hurt! The longer we were apart the harder it was to trust again. Some break ups
(crashes for the slower ones...lol) were worse than others. Two of these I will
admittedly say are my fault. None were ever her fault and the rest we let people
influence our relationship. But each time we mended our past improved ourselves
to the point that the relationship became stronger!

This last breakup was the worst one ever though. I mean it was a bad break up!
As I was on the interstate speeding up so as not to get hit by one swerving car,
a Tahoe switched lanes from the opposite side & into me throwing me from my
bike; sending it sliding one way across the highway & me tumbling 70 mph for
20-30 rotations the opposite direction. I was traveling at such a rate of speed
that the pavement ripped away the material in my riding jacket until the pads
came out and it finally grabbed the skin from my elbow. The asphalt tore at my
jeans until the gravel grabbed my legs and took a few divots of meat while
rearranging my skin color. The same was true for my hands as the leather tore
open on my gloves and my palms and fingers absorbed some gravel and melded with
some of the leather. The impact jammed my shoulders, bruised my ribs,
hyperextended my knees and most of my fingers. It sent my riding boots flying
different directions & fractured my now deformed middle finger! The pain of each
break up had me thinking will I ever subject myself to the possibility of pain
ever again? Each time all the good times outweighed the bad and I saw it not
only desirable to mend the relationship but necessary!

Yet this was a pain like no other. This time it was different because I was
humbled in my life by this blow, so much so that I was a borderline
involent...parapalegic for two weeks! For a guy who is single with no kids and
used to going out every night to be involuntarily stuck to the bed was unreal! I
was watching my break up steal the joy out of my whole life and what was worse
it was breaking up others as I heard those around me contemplating if they would
ever ride again! I too had been there when Big Kev from MSR had his last crash.
Thinking so highly of him as a person & a rider; I thought if it could happen to
him well it could happen to anyone. I used to ride almost everyday and after
that I didn't ride for 5 months (which included part of the summer).

With nothing but time to think I found myself thinking, what if I had kids and
couldn't play with them? I was crushed by the idea of how this would crumble my
mother as she worries about me daily. I was hurt by the sadness that I had put
in others lives and I began to think that this was my last ride. Then I stopped
talking to myself & began to talk with the Lord. See he had spared me once again
& I hadn't really stopped to figure out why. But as the text messages rolled in
I too became aware that God has a purpose for me & He wasn't done with me yet! I
took solice in the fact that this literally could have been my last ride. This
could've been my last day & yet my maker has made me strong, kept me whole &
given me the opportunity to testify & rectify my relationship with him as well
as my relationship with the bike! He has been my marriage counselor and has
given me the strength & fortitude to press on.

They say never ride faster than your angel can fly! I now say it's hard to ride
with God on your side if you aren't walking with him to begin with!