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by BEASTFRMVA on October 29, 2009, 9:11 am in May/Dec Romance
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13 comments |
Holiday Humbug
That time of the year is fast approaching. This the time for turkeys, hams, missile toes, family and the love of all your loved ones! One small problem...actually a very big problem: I'm single. I’d like to say "Happily Single" but I will be the first to admit that around the holiday season it gets lonely...real lonely!
When my friends are asking me what I would want if I was their man or the fellas are asking me what they should get her? I'm about to throw up because I am not getting or expecting anything! Yet somehow I know all the perfect gifts! Things sucked because I know exactly what to get everyone but I have no one to get anything for! Yet the only thing I want is to be happy and that is something that I’m definitely not!
I know it is supposed to be about God and my family. But the older I get the more I wonder when will my family grow? When will I have that special someone to spend the rest of my life with? When will I have little ones that I can surprise on Christmas morning, little ones whose eyes get huge when they see the turkey or even just have someone to kiss under the missile toe? It was hard right after we broke up and the holidays hit. It was so hard in fact that I can say that the holiday immediately following our breakup might have been my worst ever.
On Thanksgiving day I woke up readied to play the football game that we play every year and as the game ended I walked off the field fixing myself to get home to Thanksgiving dinner. For the past couple of years, our families came together and we shared our thanks for all that we were blessed with including each other. It has been hard over the last decade as I had already lost my father and that left a void in our day as he was the glue that pulled our family together. But when I finally found a female that fulfilled that fantasy that is the perfect union…the one who seemed to help me fill that void and brought something new to the table…well it only lasted 2 years!
Now going on 2 years removed from that uptopia that seemed like the family from the movies I have the Holiday Humbug. I feel like Scrooge as my highlight is now the sand lot football game played on Thanksgiving. I am no longer excited about the dinner as I now sit at dinner and here all these questions about my love life and when will I have kids. No longer do I have that special someone to go shopping for. I don’t spend Christmas Eve wrapping gifts with my honey. I really live in the world of “Bah Hum Bug!”
I question myself in that I used to enjoy the holidays before I was dating so why is it so hard to enjoy it without the significant other? I still have family, friends and my health. The celebrations are still the same and Lords knows the food is still off the hook…so why the Holiday Humbug?
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On November 17, 2009, 3:08 pm Janvier says:
Ok so I'm late reading this (been on hiatus for a while), but I echo your sentiments 110%. People always tell me "Oh, you're young, you've got time." But one thing's for sure...I'm not getting any younger. Time continues to pass however the situation continues to remain the same. I often wish I could sleep from Thanksgiving through my birthday (second week in Jan.), then all would be right in my world (or so I tell myself). But every year, I spend Thanksgiving alone, Christimas alone or only with my Mom, New Year's alone, and my Birthday...yep, you guessed it, ALONE! But, such is life I guess. All I know is that just like everything else, this too shall pass. Stay up (or call me and we can try to keep each other up)!
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On November 17, 2009, 11:27 pm Wood says:
Dang Beast and Janivier... you guys are making me a little sad reading how you are not looking towards the holidays. I use to dread the holidays for the complete opposite reasons you guys mentioned...brotha can't be in two, three, four places at the same time...lol.
Now that I got one girl, things are a lot better... I finally am able to get some peace...whew!!!!...damn!!! Lawd have mercy!!! |
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On November 18, 2009, 10:32 am BEASTFRMVA says:
Well Wood I will say that I look forward to it now because some of my friends are home visiting and playing and watching football. I too could have many visitors...but truth of the matter is as I grow older, I don't want to hang with just anyone and much less just hang with anyone during these special times of the year!
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On November 18, 2009, 11:35 am Janvier says:
And Beast, you've even still got it better than me. I live in a place where I did not grow up, have no family (although that makes little difference cause the only family I do have is my Mother), and don't have many people I would consider friends. Yeah, I know A LOT of people, hang with a lot of people from time to time, but would I consider them true friends? No. But again, it is what it is. All I know is I wonder when that day will come when I can look forward to sharing this time of year, and all that it brings, with someone I love, and his family as well. I guess because my family situation is so jacked up, I'm really beginning to crave one of my own, and this time of year only magnifies those cravings.
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On November 18, 2009, 11:49 am Chelz says:
Wow...glad to know I'm not alone! I've never had a significant other on the holidays...some casual friends or even some "I don't know quite waht we are so should there be gifts involved?" type situations...but never an actual SO. I spend the holidays with my family religiously and but then the evenings are for holiday parties with my friends. They, however, have spent their day with the in-laws, future in-laws or their child(ren) and have great stories to tell, each ending with "Next year, you'll probably have a man too, Chelz..." Hasn't happened yet so I'm no longer surprised when November rolls around and I have no one to share with. I'm single and not looking, but a winter-time boo would be convenient and would stop my fam from giving me the "she never brings anyone home for the holidays so she's either a social leper or a lesbian" side eye. Maybe I'm selfish but at least I'm honest...lol
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On November 18, 2009, 12:14 pm Reina says:
Spending Thanksgiving or Christmas alone has never bothered me. My family will interrogate me regardless. I despised spending New Year's Eve alone. I always wished I could go to sleep on the 30th and not wake up until Jan 2.
Keeping busy and making sure I have ridiculous amounts of fun have been my survival techniques. |
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On November 18, 2009, 5:02 pm vBARBIEv says:
I've never really shared the holiday season with a significant other so I have been left untouched by the holiday hum bug as far as memories of a past relationship are concerned. However, I do have the holiday hum bug in the sense that I would love to have the experience of sharing the holiday season with a significant other. I'm actually excited about the holiday season this year, even though I am a tad bit sad about not having someone special to share it with. A few of my friends are now seriously dating and so I'm feeling a bit more lonely than usual. I'm not exactly sure what can remedy your situation, just know someone special for you WILL come along. Things don't always come when we want them, but it doesn't mean they won't come!
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On November 18, 2009, 11:46 pm Wood says:
I do feel you on that beast, because I also no longer feel as energetic with duckin and dodging women during the holidays like when I was younger...and New Years was the absolutely worse time of a year for many brothas who had more than they could chew. Like Jan, I don't have any family here in Ohio, and maybe one male partner that I may hang out with.
I love the holidays because I get to see all my sibling gathered in one place, and the rest of my relatives when I go home; having a significant other has never been the main ingredient for me during the holidays. To be honest with you, having a GF during the holiday has been pretty much a distraction with her wanting me to travel with her to her family... and don't forget about her wanting something that usually cost me money 8-( Going shopping is a royal pain in the a.ss, and I do it because I really need some clothing or something replaced. Hell, I'm down to one pair of tennis shoes and really need to get another pair of running shoes, both of which I've been "meaning" to replace since last year. I'm giving a whole lot of hugs and kisses this holiday...lol. |
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On November 19, 2009, 7:38 pm Dashon says:
@Beast: I feel ya...having been in a family situation for a long time, and now celebrating the holidays and my Bday (Thanksgiving week) as a single person --does suck. But like Reina I've found ways to still enjoy the holidays.
Spending time with family, friends or hosting get togethers or a party keeps me from feeling so sad about it. Glad your friends will be in town...that should take off a lil of the Hum Bah edge (Smile). @Jan: Blessings in route Sis....blessings in route :-) @Reina: Hey Chica...LTNS. Happy Thanksgiving to ya! |
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On November 23, 2009, 8:53 am BEASTFRMVA says:
I am ready to get to Thanksgiving to play ball and watch football...I am feeling a break through coming on! LMAO...Go Giants!
OK...just feeling an up swing from the weekend! |
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On November 30, 2009, 8:16 am BEASTFRMVA says:
So really how was Thanksgiving for everyone? I survived this one.
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On November 30, 2009, 8:26 am Janvier says:
Let's just put it this way...eating grilled cheese on the day after Thanksgiving is SO not wasup! That ought to give you an indication of how my Thanksgiving was. LOL. But, I made it through! Hope everyone else had a wonderful Thanksgiving.
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I GUESS I WOULD FEEL THE SAME WAY EXCEPT I HAVE MY TWO KIDS TO FILL MY VOID. I HAVE LONGED STOPPED EXPECTING GIFTS FOR HOLIDAYS SINCE HAVING THEM. BUT I DO WANT THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE TO HELP ME CELEBRATE MY BIRTHDAY AND BRING THE NEW YEAR IN AT THE SAME TIME. YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY FEEL LIKE THAT AROUND THIS TIME OF THE YEAR BECAUSE AS LONG AS YOU PROBABLY CAN REMEMBER, THAT IS WHAT YOU WERE USED TO SEEING, LOVED ONES SPENDING TIME TOGETHER.
I AM PATIENTLY WAITING BECAUSE I KNOW MY TIME WILL COME AND HAVE REFUSED TO SETTLE FOR "THAT GUY" (ie YOUR OTHER BLOG).
WHO KNOWS, MAYBE YOU WILL MEET HER UNDER THE MISTLETOE THIS YEAR!